Letter to Oprah Winfrey

Dear Oprah,

I know exactly where you are coming from! I cannot express to you enough how much of a breath of fresh air your article has been for me.

In 2003, I reached my goal weight and lost a total of 100 lbs. I thought the weight was gone for good. I was originally inspired by Bob Green and one of your weight loss episodes. I was contacted by one of your researchers to maybe appear on your show. It never happened. But, just the calls and emails was success enough for me! I too thought I was out of the woods with this fat problem!

My weight gain (again) is a long story...but I gained 80 lbs of the 100. Oprah, gaining the weight back was so depressing. I was so angry at myself. I could hear the murmurs and feel the glances. I couldn't believe I did it again! How could I? What was I thinking? I should of stopped when I had gained 10lbs back. How did it get so out of control again? Getting into that 200 lb club AGAIN was the lowest of lows! I will never forget that moment. The moment I realized: I was fat again.

This spring I decided to get back on the wagon. I started working-out, weight training and doing yoga. I felt so alive again. To date, I had lost 35 lbs. I was on a roll! I immersed myself and my family in a healthier lifestyle. This time, I was going to conquer the battle of the bulge. I even started blogging about it, and created a website to help inspire others too. I also worked on finishing that book I had started writing so many moons ago during my first weight loss journey. I felt that this time the book would be completed, and I would reach that goal. This time I would focus on maintaining.

Unfortunately, after missing the gym for a few days due to some abnormal cramping, I received the news that I had an incisional hernia created by my 3rd c-section. No work-out allowed. Nothing. Nada. Not even yoga! I felt like I had gotten the rug pulled out from under me. Surgery would be required, but not until February 2009. What was I going to do now? I was destined to be fat forever!

Then, my 2 year old was diagnosed with undescended testicles. He is awaiting surgery as soon as the holidays pass. In addition, my 7 year old was also diagnosed with another tesiticular issue. We are awaiting his battery of tests to see what procedure will be taken for him. Next my beloved cat of 14 years passed away. Everything came all at once. Our entire family was overwhelmed with grief, sadness and frustration to say the least. All of this threw me for an emotional tail spin.

I couldn't work-out and my plate was overloaded with emotional upheaval. I turned to food. I have gained 5 lbs back of the 35 lbs I had lost. So now I have to lose 50lbs. I was so close to being in the 100 lb club! I feel like such a failure because I've left all my blog readers in limbo. I seriously thought I was back on track. Then I realized perhaps: I had fooled myself.

How could I be an inspiration myself; if I fell off the wagon AGAIN!? Who was I to preach to others about lifestyle changes etc...if I couldn't even follow them myself? I have been in this downward limbo for about a month. It's not good. I don't want to gain all the weight back. At the same time, I feel awful!

Your article inspired me Oprah! I understand the journey completely! When you said: "authentic change doesn't come easy, but with self-awareness, mindfulness, and guts, it actually does come." You hit the nail on the head! It's time for all of us to live life, the ups and the downs. It's time to focus on the whole; with us included. Change is never easy, change is a journey and perhaps gaining back the weight was our journey. Now it's time to journey to a healthier 2009.

I look forward to your return in January. I'm climbing back on that wagon with you! This time, I'm strapping myself in forever!

2009 will be a year of positive change! Cheers to us!

It's been to long...

Wow! I haven't written in a long time, to long for a gal like me that loves to write, vent and be heard!
So much going on, where to begin.

Firstly, I lost my mojo. Not being able to work-out has thrown me off the wagon. Being honest is the first policy of getting back on. I feel like crap and I'm eating not as well as I should be. I also am not drinking ANY water. I've gained five pounds. I'm very disappointed in myself. I'm also very afraid to gain back the 36 lbs (now 31 lbs) that I lost. My clothes are getting tight. I look back at my before photos and think: "NO WAY!"

My two year old is having surgery in January for a testicle issue. So we figured we'd bring in the seven year old for a check-up too. Turns out Carmelo has more serious of an issue than Antonio. Just the mention of the "C" word makes us all crumble. We are left holding our breath most likely over the Christmas holiday as the specialist is taking vacation time. Everything all at once...like I've said; when it rains it pours. Where the he..is that rainbow?

However, in light of it all. We've been down similar paths before and all has worked out. I'm keeping that faith. The little voice inside is also saying: "someone always has it worse. etc..." But then the other voice is saying: "ya got to honour the moment, and the emotions...this is a 'worse' for you. You got to feel it, soak it in, learn from it and move past it." If that doesn't work than I'll just have to focus on Carmelo himself: "Oh God! He squeezed my balls so hard I nearly farted!"

All jokes aside, in addition, I'm having negative self-righteous moments. Exactly, who am I to preach to others and attempt to inspire when I'm in such a rut myself? Why do I feel like I have the answers to everything? Why are my morale beliefs so enlightening to others? Why the heck do I have to be so positive and kind all the time? I'm getting on my own nerves; I can't imagine others who have to be around my energy! Who do I think I am?

I am walking around not feeling sorry for myself, but angry at those whom I feel are stupid and selfish. These people are testing every spiritual cell in my body. Those who annoy me, I have run out of patience or tolerance, and I must stay well away from...the pot has over boiled. I'm not feeling Christmasy either! Maybe I need Prozac!

Yet, when there is darkness...there is always a glimmer of light. I wouldn't be me, without that everlasting glimmer. It's just who I am.

I've decided that my chapter on this whole 'drama' will be an interesting one. This time, I won't fall off the wagon for three years! My friend Oprah, is coming out on Tuesday in her magazine about her recent falling off the wagon. She is promising herself to practice what she preaches. You can catch it all on her return in January; "Live Your Best Life."

Here's my promise, I'm climbing back on the wagon with Oprah! Like Randy Pausch famously said: "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." I have my poker face on and I'm sitting with a royal flush!

Almost one week has passed since I've been diagnosed as having an incisional hernia. It's actually been quite painful. I feel so distorted!

When it rains it pours. My sister had surgery yesterday. My two year old is also looking at having surgery. We have an appointment with a children's surgeon on Tuesday. So things have been rough.

I've been slightly non-chalant and certainly not my happy self. It's okay though. Unhappy Kim has to come out once in awhile. So, I'll let her rant. Then I'll fix her!

Unfortunately, I have not been able to go to the gym. I'm not supposed to go, but I told myself that I would go and just walk gently on the treadmill. Didn't happen. I've been in quite some pain. So I made the mistake of stepping on the scale; 5 lbs! I gained 5lbs! In ONE week! My trainer, who is wonderful emotional support feels that it's most likely hernia related. It seems to have doubled in size since my doctor attempted to push it in. I can't excuse the weight gain though. Times like these I hate my body! It stores fat faster than a rabbit on Viagra producing offspring!

I've been in a slump! I really think I'm just destined to be overweight. I mean what good would a jolly gal like me be; thin? The two just don't go together! It's just to hard and complicated to keep going like this. Times like these: I hate being the nice, kind and happy girl!!!

Everything came to a head the other night. We had just found out there was an abnormality in my little guy's testicle. I came home and had a shower. My two year old decided he wanted to renovate his room; every book was off his bookshelf and almost every piece of clothing out of his drawers. My hair was half done. My thirteen year old and seven year old were arguing. The energy of the house was heavy, red and angry! When my hubby arrived home from work, all heck had broken loose. I was feverishly cooking and slamming everything. No love going into dinner that night. I looked like I had just been hit by a bus! "What happened to you?" Well, let me tell ya boys, if your wife is having a bad day; that's the worst line you could say!

So I went up to my room just to gather my thoughts and compose myself. My hubby followed as my behaviour was unusual. I started venting. Thinking back, I must of been extremely hormonal! So he laid beside me trying to be kind; "what can I do to make this better?". Thinking he was going to get 'lucky'...( I mean men can be so dumb. I'm having an emotional break down and he thinks he can fix it with sex???) "You know what will maaaaaaaaake me feel better?" as I burst into tears. Through the tears he smiled; "tell me?" "Boots! I need new boots! I want some UGGS!"

As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I couldn't help but laugh! Kimmy was back! Thankfully for the sanity of my family!

In retrospective, we all have bad days. It's okay. You know there's always someone out there who's having a worse day than you. So I took a deep breath, and for some odd reason decided to check my email. There waiting was a message from a good friend of mine who's sister has been battling cancer. She wanted to drop me a line, letting me know that her sister was on her final journey to Elizabeth Bruyère a palliative care hospital. Here I was wallowing in self-pity because I won't be able to train and attempt to lose weight for maybe three months, and this young mother of two was saying good-bye. She wasn't crying because she wouldn't be able to 'train'. She was crying because she doesn't know how many days she has left to be with her family. Wow! The universe sure brought it all into perspective! Shame on me!

At least for me, in a few months, I'll be back at cursing the gym. But, for a brave young mother, she may not get to see Christmas 2008.

I'm feeling a bit better. I know that I am very blessed. My sister will make a full recovery. I will have my surgery and be back on track soon enough. My little two year old is resilient and all will work-out for him also. Everything happens for a reason. Lessons are important to learn. Life is sometimes unfair and not easy. When life gives you lemons, make some lemonade and think of those who are worse off. My Uggs arrive next week!

Another Hurdle on My Journey

As I write this I am in tears! Who would of ever thought that I would be crying over not be able to train! LOL
Well, I am!
I've definitely turned a new leaf.

A few days ago, I was experiencing severe abdominal pain. I just returned from the doctor and sadly I have a few lingering medical issues that need to be dealt with.

My pain was most likely due to ovarian cysts that have not burst or ovarian cyst that are putting pressure on my stomach hernia! WHAT?! I have an incisional stomach hernia most likely a result from my previous c-section or ectopic rupture. Which means: no more weight training for me for a while. I'm so frustrated, sad and angry!

However, I can do light cardio; walking only. I am due to see the surgeon within the next few weeks to discuss surgery and recovery. They'll be going through my c-section incision, so I'll be out for 6 weeks for recovery. Thus, I'm at least two months away from training again at a minimum.

Still, my optimistic self is telling me that it's a bump in the road, a simple curve ball. On the big picture it will be just a mere dot. On the brighter side, maybe while they are in there I can have a tummy tuck? LOL

Nonetheless, for the time being...I will wallow not being able to weight train or do any type of core training. Life is so unfair sometimes!!!
For all of you able to work-out and train; do a few extra for me would ya?!

The Trigger of the Pink T-Shirt

The other day I was combing through boxes, buried deep within the bottom of a box I came upon one of my favourite t-shirts. It is a pink lulu lemon t-shirt with the words: "Love Blossoms". From the first moment I had laid eyes on it at the store, I found the words to be so spiritually deep and profound. I just had to own it! I embraced this t-shirt and wore it with pride, illuminating the spiritual meaning of the tee. I love this t-shirt, not only because of the resonant words, pink also happens to be my favourite colour. This t-shirt on a whole represents far greater than any amount of human words can describe. It's more than just a piece of clothing. It is inspiring and meaningful. It is a crucial key to my spirit.

I wore this t-shirt when I was 150 lbs at my goal weight, after having lost 100 lbs. The words gave me hope. Digging it up from the bottom of the barrels I had buried in it, meant digging up all the emotional baggage that came with my weight loss and my weight gain. This t-shirt represents a huge emotional 'moment'. A significant breakthrough of this journey. Bob Greene in "The Best Life Diet" believes that if one does not deal with the emotional triggers associated with eating and weight gain, one shall never fully conquer 'weight loss'. The weight will always creep back. He is right! I definitely must uncover the emotional reason why I eat, and dull my senses. When I held the t-shirt I was ultimately bombarded with fleeting emotions and feelings all at once.

When I am over-weight I am safe. Safe is good. In addition, I have discovered that I have deep seated childhood unworthy issues and fears of abandonment. Most importantly, there is a pattern here. Lose weight, gain it back again. Thus, there must be more to it. Obviously, it is the tip of the iceberg and more will come to light as time passes. The timing of the return of the t-shirt is fatefully planned.

I have never touched upon the emotional side of my weight issues. Those issues are deep rooted since my childhood days, when I first began to gain weight. In fact, my childhood nickname until I was ten years old was "Skinny Kimmy". I was tiny and thin. What the heck happened? At the age of 13, I found myself to be morbidly obese. Than something changed and I lost my first 80 lbs. Than I met my husband, and slowly gained the weight back again. At the age of 29, I weighed 250 lbs; then a life altering moment had triggered something deep within and over a period of two years I lost 100 lbs.

I thought I would be happy thinner. I always believed 'thin' people were 'it'. They had it all. If they didn't it was easy for them to get it, after all when you are thin everything is perfect. That was my ultimate goal when I lost 100 lbs. I would be 'happy' and so loved. I would be so beautiful. People would finally noticed my beauty and all else would be perfect. When I reached my goal weight, it was like the glass house crashed around me, along with my faith, and my beliefs. I hit rock bottom and as I began to pull myself out, I realized that I was completely wrong!

I have had to discover the hard way, that happiness lies within. You have to create your own happiness no matter what your body size is. My definition of "happiness" has also greatly been altered. I have met some thin people on this journey full experience, and they are the most lost people on earth, in my opinion. For me, that was a huge eye opener. It was an "aha" moment of "aha" moments. Gone was my strong belief that if someone was thin, they had it all going on and in control. Most importantly, beauty lies deep within the soul and is no way a reflection of the outside.

When I reached my goal weight, I was shocked to see that nothing had changed. Not only was I unhappy, but I was also insecure and cut off from my true self. I might of shed pounds and pounds of fat, however with it came major upheavals that forced me to bury my spirit. However, this pink t-shirt was a positive highlight of my weight loss. It represented so deeply much of my spirit.

Now the up-rising of the tee, brings everything to the fore front. On a full moon day, I felt a sudden malaise. I took three days off from training. I wasn't feeling well. I felt an overwhelming sense of physical exhaustion. An emotional drainage. Everything seemed to come to a standstill. I honoured my body, at the same time I honoured the time I needed to re-group within. I felt an upheaval of emotions. The full moon that rose above, and holding the t-shirt again brought forth many complex feelings, deep seated resentments and hurts. It was time to deal with this head on. It is the full reason for my weight gain. I cannot hide behind the veil of fertility treatment and pregnancy as the soul excuse for my weight gain. For one, I fully realize that I am at the cusp of joining that famous 100 lb club. This club represents so many facets of emotion and feelings. I want so badly to be back in that club. I can taste it. Yet, I fear it. Now with every pound I lose, it's crucial to release all the reasons I am overweight.

I firmly believe that we learn our greatest lessons when we fail. There is a reason we fall down. I will never forget the day when I stepped on the scale and it read 200 lbs. After having lost 100 lbs and thinking I had said farewell to the 200 club, I was back in. Mind you, I was six months pregnant. Nonetheless, it was like I had been hit in the heart with a sledgehammer! I knew that once my child was born, I would have a lot of work ahead of me to lose back the weight. I knew that it meant I had a lot of emotional turmoil to deal with because obviously I had just swept it under the carpet the first time and the second time. What happened? How did it happen? I don't know. All I know is that I woke-up one morning and my pink tee no longer fit. Stretched were the words over my heart. With great sadness, I put it away at the very bottom of a box. Numb to the feeling, and the symbolism it represented. It was an emotional downfall. A failure. I had failed and everyone could see.

But, this time as I held the t-shirt to my heart it felt different. As the light of the full moon shined down on me everything felt magical. Something stirred within my spirit and soul. Third time is a charm! I will slowly dig through my fears of abandonment. The universe taught me a valuable lesson. I will charge forth on my worthiness issues. I am a wonderful person. I am fortunate to have the love, and respect of amazing people. I am guided and so blessed. My lifestyle change is a permanent improvement to me on the inside and outside. I am worthy of being happy today. I have found true happiness. I realize that I do not want to be overweight any longer. Therefore, it is time to break free from all those emotional chains that weigh me down. It is now or never! Happiness lies within me. Beauty resonates from my soul and spirit.

With this, I can feel a huge change. The shift is happening; and it's big! A new confidence has built within and the clincher is; it came to me while I was overweight! With time comes maturity, with experience comes wisdom, a divine spiritual journey. My marriage is now at the best place it's ever been, I have found a new found faith within and confidence. I am letting my beautiful light shine forth. For the first time, I am truly being ME! Therefore safe is no longer good enough for me. I know that I will never walk this earth alone. I have waisted so much time, being sad and overweight. The cloud is being lifted. My life has meaning.

The pink lululemon t-shirt now hangs in my closet. Always visible to me. Not for what it used to represent, but now for what my goal and future represent. One day soon, I will wear; "Love Blossoms" again. This time it will be extraordinary. When I proudly wear my pink tee it will stand for 'victory' in all it's grandest forms. The achievement of overcoming my struggle with weight. The re-discovery of my spirit and soul. The redemption of my marital relationship. The blessings of my children, family and friends. Living my life with purpose and passion. The circle of life and how when one has faith and is willing to work at it; love shines forth; love blossoms!

That 100 lb Club is Within Reach...

Good day!

Let's start from the top! Another pound gone! That's 36lbs now! It's peeling off, I keep reminding myself slow and steady wins the race! In addition to this, my clothes are getting really baggy. Which is good. I'm four pounds away from saying a final good-bye to the 200 club. I was thinking that I need a reward...like a big reward! I'm tossing the idea of a new work-out outfit from Lulu, because I'm floating in all my work-out gear right now. Besides, I need some pink! :> Also, I'm really looking into buying a new pair of UGGS. SOOOOO....getting into the 100 club is a big DEAL! It's a huge accomplishment. That will make me 40lbs lighter. So why not buy 40 pounds worth? Just kidding! I've decided that my reward is going to be: a new work-out outfit from Lululemon, a new gym bag (with some pink) and some UGG boots!

I've been consistently going to the gym in the morning, it's been a week and that's a record for me. It really feels satisfying! I've been inspired by season 5 winner of NBC's "The Biggest Loser" Ali. What can you say but; wow! Ali has lost a total of 112 lbs. She has absolutely no loose skin. I'm very impressed by that. Often you will see people who lose weight appear saggy and droopy. Some get plastic surgery to remove loose excess skin. Ali surely sets an example against this. Her secret? Is that nutritionist listening? WEIGHT TRAINING! :> She does quite a bit of cardio too. I have incorporated her secret to tight arms in my work-out regime. I highly recommend you google her and see her before and after photos. Absolutely inspiring to say the least! Go Ali!

The rower is what Ali feels is the secret to her hot arms! So, on my cardio days, I will be following Ali's advice and doing ten minutes of rowing holding on one way, and ten minutes the other. I also will continue to do Tracy's Anderson's DVD's. I like some alternatives to my training.

For those of you reading, who contemplate saying: "I just have no time to work-out" I can say to you; because I've been there. There are 168 hours in a week. That is ten thousand or so minutes. If you look at it that way; can you not fathom giving your body, mind and spirit 60 or so minutes a week?

Have a great day!
Kimmy

A Very Special Day...

Today, is my 8Th wedding anniversary. Yep! Eight years today, I married my hubby! Side note, we've been together as a couple for 17 years! That's almost half my life...whew! They say : "time flies when you are having fun..." . Some days are bumpy, but for the most part...it's been fun.

We were married on 11/4/00 on board the ship Explorer of the Seas. It's been quite an exploration let me tell ya! hahaha The freaky part that I absolutely love is that there is exactly 11 years, 4 months difference between Tony and myself (I'm the younger party ;) ). Just a reminder, we were married the 11Th month, 4Th day. I never arranged it that way. I realized it about three years after the fact. It came to me when things were a little tough in our relationship. That moment was like: 'whoa...wait a minute...there's more to this!' I immediately realized that THERE is something we call FATE and DESTINY. We sure are guided on our path. Yep! It's good ol' me being sappy and wise! Let me tell you...that is what keeps me smiling!

Here we are today....my hubby has been a work in progress. Aren't we all??? But, he's a great guy with a teddy bear of a heart. He is very sentimental these days....this morning he reminded me that we were stuck together forever, and that marrying me was the best decision he ever made and if I could just be myself for a second: He REALLY loves me! I'm quite the catch ya know! My ex-boyfriends should really be kicking themselves!!!! :) hahahahaha Just kidding! But, certainly not about the "he loves me" me part...hahahahaa
I'm very grateful for having Tony in my life...and not a day goes by that I am not thankful.

In fact, that is our wedding song: The Prayer by Céline Dion and Andrea Bocelli.
On Saturday night, we watched my pvr'd Oprah from Friday's show (I know what a great thing to do with your hubby!!! hahaha Anyhow...wouldn't you know it! Mr. Andrea Bocelli was on singing " The Prayer ". So I didn't say anything (don't we just love to test our hubbies?! "Hey that's our song...and our anniversary is this week!" One million points for Tony! He made me rewind it three times! Another million points for him! :)
On a serious note, the words mimic the journey we've been on, and continue to go. Also, it's even fascinating synchronistically that a french woman and an italian man sing the song!

Moving on from my spiritual over analyzations, tonight we are heading out for dinner. Italian of course! In preparation, I went to work-out at the gym this morning! Yeah Me! Honestly, I have to say that it actually feels amazing to work-out in the morning and get it over with! Let see today...

I got two boys off to school. Work-out for 40 minutes. Had my shower. Made all the beds. Got Tony off to work. Did three loads of laundry. Cleaned out my fridge. Vacuumed and mopped the floors. This with breakfast and lunch done! I love being organized and having everything clean and in order. Plus, it's only two o'clock! I have time to write and work on my book!

Nonetheless, I'm right on my work-out schedule. I'm drinking my water etc...eating properly (except for tonight but I'll work that off after...;) ).

I'd also like to say that it doesn't matter if you have 50, 20, 5 lbs to lose. You got to work-it to get it! Also, even if you are at the perfect weight...ya got to work-it to keep it!

So commit to yourself...!
Hugs,
Kimmy

This week...

Hello,

Well today...I won't be go to the gym to work-out as my trainer is ill. So instead of taking another day off, I'm going to do some serious Tracy Anderson today.



I have to stay focused. Losing weight is a full-time commitment.



This week is a tad of a busy week for me, so I must stay on goal. There is no "oh after tomorrow" or "I'll start on Monday" etc. Today is the day! Every day counts towards that goal! Tuesday is my wedding anniversary! My hubby has something very special planned (how do I know...I was a detective in my past life ;) ). So we'll be going out to eat for sure. Also, Friday I'm going out with my long time best friend Lyne to see Céline Dion! Yahoo! We are also going out to eat before hand.



The secret is to work-out before (cardio) and eat within reason. Make sure to drink some water and enjoy! That's why 'fad' diets JUST don't work! They don't adapt to normal life. If you are in need of a lifestyle change, I highly recommend Bob Green's "The Best Life Diet" book. It will change you...

I'm off lot's to do!

Have a great Monday!
Kimmy

"Time is a ticking and my fat needs a burnin'!"

LMAO....that is a funny quote! Oprah! You can quote me on that one!

So I did it! Not without a few hitches. But, I managed to get to the gym at 9 am! Guess what? I didn't melt either! lol I managed to have a great conversation with my trainer, and get 40 minutes of cardio in. I even stopped at Shoppers on the way home.

It felt amazing! Yep! I got my work-out in. I've already drank 3 glasses of water. I'm well on my way to a great day! So 100 club; get ready because I'm joining!

I've been re-reading Bob Greene's "The Best Life Diet". So on that weight training topic (remember that nutritionist saying it was a waste of time), Bob feels that weight training is imperative to being successful at weight loss. It's important to build muscle as during weight loss, you will lose muscle. So it makes a perfect balance. Most importantly, muscle burns more fat...and builds up your metabolism. So you want to build muscle and weight training to tone and tighten. It's crucial! Equally as crucial is cardio. Cardio burns fat! No way around it, if you want to lose weight; ya gotta do cardio at least 5 times a week! Bob also recommends aiming for 8 glasses of water a day. That's reasonable and still in a healthy range. Anything more, and you automatically feel overwhelmed, which in turn makes you drink less water. I love Bob!

I also did the Tracy Anderson Method. Her dance cardio...was really difficult for me as I'm a very uncoordinated gal. My son attempted to video me for his new YouTube debut!!! Maybe funny to some, but to me...NOT. LOL "Tracy Anderson this is what uncoordinated rejects look trying to do your dance cardio work-out!"
But, I did work-up a sweat and my heart rate was definitely high. What I love about Tracy's method (besides the fact that she's got a beautiful body and glow!) is that her method makes so much sense. If you always do the treadmill, the bike or the elliptical for cardio for example, your body gets used to that. So, you are always using the same muscles over and over again. That builds bulk. Throwing in a change, really is good for overall balance and definition. Plus, it's a change and a great compliment to any fitness regimen.

I also did Tracy's matt work DVD. This one: I HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!! If you don't believe me, have you looked at Gwyneth Paltrow or Madonna lately? So the insight on this one is this: weight training is awesome for big muscle groups. But, there's also fine muscle ligaments that don't get worked-out during regular weight training. Tracy takes you through a series of moves that target those smaller muscles to give you a long, lean and defined look. To pull everything in. This can be done alone, or complimentary to your weight training regime. Although, I don't recommend doing both in the same day! OUCH!!!
I can attest that I did it last night (only maybe half), because it was TOUGH. This morning I woke-up feeling really tight in parts of my body...where I didn't even know I had muscles! LMAO
I plan on doing Tracy's cardio work-out once a week, for a nice change and her matt work at least twice a week.

So this is my new schedule:

• Monday: Weight Train (with my Personal Trainer) and Cardio
• Tuesday: Cardio (am) and Tracy A. Matt work
• Wednesday: Weight Train (with my PT) and Cardio
• Thursday: Cardio (am)
• Friday: Cardio (am) Tracy A. Matt work/ or yoga
• Saturday: Tracy A. Cardio
• Sunday: OFF

Looks busy! It's the only way to be successful.

How bad do you want it?

Have a great day!

Hugs!!!

Kimmy

Confessions of a Mother!

Busted!!!

Yep, moi! My usual morning routine consists of waking up at 7:15 am with Diodato, getting him off to school by 7:45am. Then Carmelo...and driving him by 8:50am. THEN: I go back to bed for an hour as Antonio usually sleeps until 10 am or I go creep Facebook! I am soooooo bad! On my defence, I usually need it after a morning with Carmelo...that or a glass of wine! LOL

Then after having a conversation with my trainer Lene, I realized many things. An hour! I whole hour of me time is spent sleeping or wasting time on Facebook. What a waste! I could be working-out...besides I DRIVE RIGHT BY THE GYM~ Shame on me!

So I made a decision (along with the kick in the a@@) from my trainer. Good job Lene, I sure need it! I love ya!
Tuesday, Thursday and Friday I am to report at the gym after dropping off Carmelo at school as my hubby is still home in the morning until 11am. Strictly cardio...and maybe a tan...and then a starbucks ;)...Kidding!
Suze Orman on Oprah totally got to me and I've reduced myself to one a week! Morevoer, my hubby will be waiting at home for me with a caffee latte just for me; made with lot's of love! lol

Decision made! Gym bag at the door ready! However, sometimes, things just don't go as planned. So Lene!!! I appologize for not being at the gym this morning! I went back to bed! BUT>>>> I think I have good reason. Last night, while bathing my boys, Antonio my 2 1/2 year old banged his head climbing out of the bath. He was unusually drowsy, and incoherent. His pupils were dilated and then he vomited. He suffered a mild concussion. We whisked him off to CHEO. We were there until 1 am, and got home at 1:30am. We woke him up every three hours. I also wanted to be here when he woke up this morning to ensure he was okay. Thankfully, he seems to have bounced back!

Don't fret though! I will do cardio today on my own!

Thursday am I will report to the gym!

Never a dull moment...but everything works out perfectly! In fact, it made me want to make more of an effort to go to the gym. Really! I'm a strange girl. But, I love it! I realize that it's time to get really serious about this weight loss/fitness situation. I mean...I think I can work-out at 9 am! How stupid! When athletes, and stars even Oprah work-out at 5 am! Come on! I'm a role model...my blog got 100 hits on Saturday! LOL!!!
So you've inspired me to be the best I can be; and that means NO SLEEPING! Well, the universe is listening; what I mean is no going back to bed on week-days after my two sons have gone to school.

Time is a ticking...and my fat needs a burning!

xox
Kimmy

Hello and Happy Weekend!!!

I had gained two pounds...but lost them again! That was due to my holiday binge. Remember it takes about a week for your eating to show-up on your scale. So whatever you ate last week etc...will affect you in the days afterwards. Not immediately after. The only exception I've seen to this is : excessive drinking or chinese food.

So I'm back to where I was. EXCEPT! I'm done a few more inches! Ever strange!?

I've lost 3 inches this month! For a total of 17 3/4 gone!

Even though I'm a scale bitch, and want those numbers to come down...I have to look at the big picture. Inches are the way to go too!

I have been reading "Mother Warrior" by Jenny McCarthy. It's truly a must read. I had a huge epiphany for son Carmelo and will blog about that next week.

Also, if you are trying to lose weight or you feel 'blah', epson salts! Epson salts not only help you with stress relief or pain relief. They detoxify your body of metals and toxins. We live in an environment surrounded by toxins. It's in the air, it's in our food, it's in the water. Detoxification is crucial to our better health. Especially, when you are on a weight loss path. When fat cells are burnt they emit toxins. If you do not flush them out, they build up in your system.
I recommend one weekly epson salt bath. I also plan on detoxing via epson salts my kids!

In addition, you can help your kidney's and liver with detox simply by drinking water with a few squeezes of lemon.

Well, that's all for now. I'm off to go try that Tracy Anderson Method....I'll keep ya posted!

Hugs,
Kimmy

After a Good Night's Rest!

Phew!

What a good night's rest will do!

Last night I left the nutrition session feeling like somewhat of a failure. Not that the nutritionist was trying to point that out to me. Just here I am preaching and writing what is working for me...and apparently it's all wrong! So please don't follow what I'm doing at home...lol....

First of all, everyone has a right to their opinion. I really believe that. This woman is obviously very knowledgeable in the field. I can tell she's wise and has truly studied what she is 'preaching'. I also believe that we are all different because people come into our lives to teach us something valuable about ourselves. So if your sister-in-law is getting on your nerves because she saves every penny, it's time to look in the mirror! That's Oprah's analogy of it, and I love it! Sometimes, I need a gentle nudge 'reminder' though. Anyhow, so obviously I can learn a thing or two or three from this nutritionist. In fact, in just one hour I learned quite a bit!

Secondly, the universe will give you a message. It will be a whisper, a gentle knock, a louder bang and then a bang on the head IF you don't pay attention. So light bulb moment! This woman has much valuable information...and I can't go buy her book as she hasn't written it yet.
So I'm sending in my husband first! hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha

All jokes aside, my hubby needs her, and hopefully she'll take him on as a client. Out of ten clients she only chooses two to work with. Oh, and you never know....it a week from now I may be blogging: "GUESS WHO IS A CLIENT OF THE NUTRITIONIST; ME!"

So I came up with a solution! I pulled out my "The Best Life Diet" by Bob Green and I'm looking into buying "You on a Diet" by Dr. Oz. I also picked up "Real Life" by Dr. Phil and "Mother Warrior" by Jenny McCarthy. Suffice to say, I have quite a bit of reading ahead of me.
Nonetheless, sometimes we gather so much information that we forget. So I'm doing a sweep of things, and make an executive decision from there. I am very well read. I inform and educate myself first and foremost.

I think what I'm doing is working for me at the moment. As I have lost some weight (even though apparently only 10 lbs of fat :() When we consult with her again, I will take it from there. No sense worrying about things.

I forgot to mention that she's also really works on the emotional side of eating. So she just doesn't tell you: here is a menu eat this. The crucial part of a weight loss program is getting to the trigger; why are you over weight...why do you make poor eating decisions for yourself? Why do you not eat? etc...
THAT IS CRUCIAL!!!!! You can't make a lifestyle change IF you are unwilling to work on the inside out.

I woke-up this morning and went downstairs and trained on the elliptical for 25 minutes. The story behind that....
According to the nutritionist (I'm not naming her as she's very private about this...for various reasons; if you'd like a free consult with her, email me; I'd be more than happy to give you her contact info), I train at 4 ish...so say I burn 500 calories. I need 3500 calories in a day to function. I am now 500 calories deficient of that. I come home and eat. My body is immediately registering a deficiency in calorie intake. It will take what I need (minimal) and store the rest. So if I continue to do this pattern in a week; a 1 pound gain.
HOWEVER, if you train in the morning before eating, you are burning fat. As your body is in fat burning mode already from the night. If I have to train at 4 ish...I must come home and eat 1000 calories or more to make up for that...over time my body will register the extra calories and burn the fat. She explains it as a very fragile gentle circle of events that register of time. Your body is a fine tuned machine.

She also believes that 15-20 minutes of cardio first thing in the am...is equal to that of a 2 hour work-out in the pm.

She's had over 10 000 clients...and she covers her data efficiently. She's also not a 'weight loss' gimmick. She's about lifestyle change inside and out.

All that to say, after concluding I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON, I woke-up and thought; "I have nothing to lose but fat. Cardio here I come!"
So now...my cardio for the day is done. I felt great. I also sweated immensely while doing cardio this am!
I'll keep you posted!!!

Until then, I'm going to read and read!

Oh...and Rambo (if you read yesterday's blog) is not even close to Jack Bauer in my eyes. LOL But, it was nice to cuddle and watch a movie anyhow. Tonight we are watching Rambo II....great...lol
Hold the popcorn! ;)

Hugs!
Kimmy

State of Confusion...

I am so confused. I am writing now because come tomorrow am...I will have it all sorted out some how or some way.

I just returned from seeing a nutritionist. CAN YOU HERE ARGH!?????

Her view on things is quite different. This lady researched food etc... for years. I can feel she's on the right track with things. Nonetheless, I feel quite lost and confused right now.

So she told me that I should NOT be weight training. Not until I've lost some more weight. She also said that for every inch of my body I have one pound of fat! How depressing!!! She was pretty on the ball though and told me I need to get my a@@ out of bed in the morning to do cardio (that she believes in).

My hubby is going to sign-up and visit her on a weekly basis. Which I think is wonderful. Oh, and another thing she was telling us that famous clinic that injects patients to lose weight...well she did research and believes that whatever it is that it's the needle makes people crazy. It takes a few years for the effect to wear off. I can attest that my hubby did that 'diet'...and even he admitted it made him 'crazy'. As he said: "he lost his mind...and did things that he would never think of doing under normal conditions!". Wow! So forgiven! hahahaha

Anyhow, this lady really seems to know what she's talking about. She had amazing pointers that I'm happy to share with you, and some not so.

For instance, popcorn. Did you ever hear that popcorn is bad for you? I'm devastated (it's one of my favourite foods) to report that popcorn swells in your stomach. Moreover, it stays stuck in your colon for over a week and plugs you up literally. She says that eat more than one cup of popcorn and the week after weigh yourself! She guarantees a weight gain every time. That's the thing she stands by, the foods we eat take about a week to affect us. That is why we would never associate a weight gain with popcorn. People like me can gain up to 7lbs from popcorn. I would continue to eat it for a pound or two, but not for 7lbs!

Also, an apple isn't just an apple. There are bad fruit and good fruit. She believes that if you eat an apple, the body treats the sugar in the apple equal to the sugar of a chocolate bar. So if you are trying to lose weight...apples are not the way to go apparently! She has a list of fruit that are 'better' for you.

I will give more information as it comes back to me. Right now I'm so sad. She told me to quit going to the gym, I'm just wasting my time. She's right...I'm really taking off pounds slowly.

I'm going to bed, or maybe not...my hubby is waiting to watch 'Rambo' with me as apparently he says it's as good as "Jack Bauer" on 24. There's no comparison in my mind. Nobody like Jack...but to him there is, and if it makes him happy (besides his waiting on the couch right now with some blankets and pillows to cuddle...hahaha)

Have a good night...and I forgot to mention...before you have your coffee tomorrow morning, make sure to drink at least 2 litres of water! I think I'll start with 2 glasses!!!

Bonne nuit!
Kimmy

Where things stand...

Hello!

I attended a beautiful wedding on the weekend. Weddings are so much fun. Getting all ready is half the fun. I love having a goal to set myself up. It truly motivates me. So, if you remember I planned on losing ten pounds for this wedding. I didn't quite make-it there. But, I can report that:

I have lost a total of 3% body fat!

In march, my body was 47% body fat.
Yesterday, it came in at 44%.
Even though that is still quite high...I'm making progress in the right direction!!!!

The dress. That either didn't quite work to my advantage, or so I thought. The dress no longer came in my size, as I shrunk! So that was a happy moment. I have posted a photo of my dress the night of the wedding. My hubby told me I looked really sexy and beautiful. He doesn't give out compliments freely, so I take it when I can. He made me feel extra beautiful! :) We had a wonderful time...(thanks to P. and L! xoxo)

Speaking of goals! We are set to take a family vacation this spring. I'm not sure if it will be the Caribbean or Mexico, but it is somewhere hot for sure. I am so motivated to lose more weight until then. This is my ultimate goal! I discussed this with my personal trainer and she loved it. We decided that I can surely lose 25 lbs. So I set that as my goal.

I haven't been feeling well the last few days. Too much turkey, stuffing, gravy and cheesecake will do that to ya! LOL....not only that; I haven't worked-out and I have not drank any water. I feel 'blah'. I couldn't even stay to do cardio after training yesterday, I felt like I was going to be sick. Hard to believe I felt like this always in the past.

I'm still waiting for those Tracy Anderson Method DVD's to arrive in the mail. I'm thinking I could of walked to the U.S. faster to buy them!
Hopefully, they will arrive before my March vacation!!!!

Have a great day!
Hugs,
Kimmy

Thanksgiving Gratitude!

Happy Thanksgiving!





"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others." - Cicero


So it was a 'busy' week-end...but I took in a lot. "It's really important to look at things in a spiritual light, everything has spiritual meaning as we are spiritual beings after all." - Oprah


This Thanksgiving/Wedding week-end, made me really appreciate alot. Not JUST because it was Thanksgiving weekend. Thanksgiving makes me realize, that it's not only about the day. But, daily thankfulness is crucial to staying in the moment. Gratitude is all about having a GReat Attitude. But, there's so much more to it than just an 'attitude'. Our lives are all busy. But, taking the time to say; "thank you", "I appreciate that", " amazing" etc...brings us all back to the now, the importance of today. It's so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday. Slowing down even for a few minutes to show thankfulness is a great way to open up channels. We all need to feel appreciated, valued and loved. Most importantly, we are all blessed, and showing gratitude is acknowledging the good fortune and putting the 'bad' fortune behind you.


I love Thanksgiving day. It is one of my favourite holidays. The turkey, stuffing mashed potatoes, gravy and pumpkin pie are a bonus. :) hahaha!
I always take the time to say a special prayer of gratitude on that day. I try to count my blessings daily. But, Thanksgiving is a special day for me. How the circle of life is at the same time fragile and grand. Upon reflection, how we are all blessed each in our own special way unique to us.
I am blessed, to have beautiful, healthy children, a spouse who loves me, family, sisters who care and give me the time of day, friends who are loyal and kind etc...That is my list.
Thanksgiving, is a perfect time for reflection.

A Reason For Weight Training!

Unbelievable! Here is an amazing fact about building muscle.

1 bl of muscle built burns 50-100 calories a day.

Thus, if you only build 1 lb of muscle this year, you could burn 10 lbs of fat!

Music and a Song That Will Inspire Me Always!

Music has always been known to invigorate and move us. Since the beginning of times, humans have used music as a vehicle of emotion. Music embodies expression like nothing else. It is a magical inspirit.
Music can also inspire us.

Spirit often speaks to us and touches us through the music. It has been said often that we can receive divine guidance through music. Have you ever thought of a song, only to turn on the radio and the exact song was playing? Or have you been in a mood, and hear a song playing that mimic your mood? Or have you been stuck pondering a decision only to hear your answer through a song? Do you always hear a song playing over and over again? Maybe there's a message waiting for you to comprehend it?
We are all affected by music differently. Sometimes, I will be put in a direct mood simply by a song I have heard.
I love music. I am moved by many songs. Some of which will define me forever.

Many years ago, my life was in a downward spiral. My hubby and I were down and out. I had lost a baby through an ectopic rupture that almost took my own life. In addition, I was struggling with major issues with my own mother. I was overwhelmed, frustrated and so lost. I was surrounded by hopelessness. I was deeply saddened . I was depressed, and probably suicidal. I went through my days, in a ritual motion of non-existence. Even though, I had many family and friends standing by me...I still felt completely alone. For sure, I had hit rock bottom. I look back at this time as a very dark period of my life. My entire spirit was surrounded by a black cloud of despair!

One song would change all of that and lift me out....
I sat down to watch Oprah Winfrey (I know ...her again!...I am always so inspired by Oprah. I cannot help myself!). It was Oprah's Birthday. I will never forget that moment when the wall was lifted and out popped Tina Turner belting out "Simply The Best". It was a moment in my history when all time stood still. As I stood up and danced along with John Travolta, Gayle and Oprah...something deep within lit up. The changes were going to have to come from me. I am the best...I have to be my best. I have to live my best. Nothing or no one else mattered. If my husband were to love me, he would love me for me and not for someone I wanted to portray. I couldn't go on living the way I was. It was time to pull myself out of this mess. I had to be me...simply the best! Those words, that song, so profound so significant. Every beat, every word resonated so deeply within. So poignant to the turn around change of events. I cannot describe it fully into words. But, for me it was like that huge dark black cloud was blown away. Really, I felt like I saw the light! From that moment on I changed my way of thinking, I altered my path significantly. I changed my attitude. I began to appreciate who I was and what I had. I realized many things. I began to be happy...just happy. I opened the door for nothing but the best....Me! I would from that day on let my spirit shine through, no matter what! It would be a pivotal moment in the events to come forth that year and years to come. That moment shifted everything for me and everyone around me!
I don't look back upon these times in sadness, rather I look back in gratitude, for great magnificent lessons were learned during these times. I am a stronger person, and have stronger relationships because of this.
Still to this day, when I hear that song...I am reminded of that time. I get goose bumps! Warm shivers go down my spine. I feel such a love and connection to that song. I listen to that song on my ipod and it makes me focus, strive for better, be a better person, appreciate everything in life (and work-out harder!). The whole of the song inspires me deeply. Be a vehicle of LOVE. BE THE BEST I WAS MEANT TO BE! I am blessed to have heard the message. I am guided. The song remains for me a powerful reminder of the importance of divine force, spirit, and fate. How crucial faith, optimism and hope are in our lives. Most significantly, it reminds me that attitude can shift everything!

So next time you hear a song, really listen to the message it's sending you. You just never know it might be life changing ! :)


Simply the Best

Tina Turner

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire

You come to me, come to me wild and wired

Mmm, you come to me Give me everything I need

Give me a lifetime of promises and a world of dreams

Speak a language of love like you know what it means

Mmm, it can't be wrong

Take my heart and make it strong, baby

You're simply the best, better than all the rest

Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met

I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say

Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead In your heart

I see the star of every night and every day

In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away

Just as long as I'm here in your arms

I could be in no better place

You're simply the best, better than all the rest

Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met

I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say

Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control

You're walking away with my heart and my soul

I can feel you even when I'm alone

Oh baby, don't let go

Ooh you're the best (woo)

Better than all the rest

Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met

Ooh, I'm stuck on your heart,

I hang on every word you say

Don't tear us apart no, no, no,

Baby, I would rather be dead

Oooh, you're the best!

Sometimes Everything Happens For a Reason!

News and Update!

1. I lost another pound...so 34 lbs down!
2. 1 more pound to go and I win the bet with my "incognito training partner"!
3. 5 lbs to go and I win the Lulu lemon bet!

"Everything happens for a reason.

Every action has a reaction.

Always remember that whats meant to be

will always find a way to come about.”

-Author Unknown

It's been five weeks since I began training with my new female trainer. Of those weeks, we've only successfully trained three times one week. Thursday nights is the unlucky night. In the past, I trained Friday's at 8pm. It was perfect, as I came home afterwards and didn't feel so rushed to put the kids to bed. With the new trainer unavailable Friday nights, Thursday's was the only option. We are normally scheduled to train at 8 pm Thursday night. However, it's a school night and having to leave when there's homework, and bedtime routine is stressful. Add in violin and guitar lessons and it adds for a turbulent night.

So when my trainer called and cancelled on Thursday I pondered reflectively. Why does this keep happening? Evidently, Thursday nights are not the optimum training time. Obviously, it's time for a change. That much I comprehended. But, upon further deliberation many things came to light. For one, my "incognito training partner" has expressed that come time for renewing our training sessions in four weeks time, she won't be renewing. So, I will be training on my own with the trainer. That means, the cost of my training sessions will go up (group training is much cheaper than private training). I figured out that I can reduce my training sessions to twice a week, and ask my trainer to fully concentrate on weight and core training during this time. I can work on my cardio on my own. I certainly don't need to pay someone to watch me sweat while I run or bike. Moreover, if I work-out once at home (with Tracy Anderson Method, or do Yoga/Pilates) plus dust off my elliptical and my treadmill and go to the gym on my own another time; that will be four or five days of working-out. It's a perfect solution and I'm saving money!

In sum, I came to the decision to quit training on Thursday's with my trainer. Not that I did anyhow. But, now I'm only scheduled to train twice a week, I will make more effort to either work-out at home, or go to the gym and do cardio! This will make my life, and my family life much easier!

So sometimes everything does happen for a reason...and it always works out in the end!

All in a day...

I know this has nothing to do with weight loss, but it is part of the whole of my journey.
This is what I have to deal with, and why sometimes I either cannot work-out or I run to the fridge to dull my senses ;)

First of all, let me introduce you to my son Carmelo. He is 7 years old. He is very sensitive and takes EVERYTHING personally! I mean everything! He is loud; you'll ALWAYS know when Carmelo is around. He is extremely social and LOVES to talk! He is bright and gregarious. I have included a few photos of him. I will have lot's of stories of all my children, but I'm sure he'll have a book of stories! Don't get me wrong, I fully affirm that ALL children are special. However, this guy was born to teach me :) Bless his soul!

So, I have included some older stories that I have noted; and the one from yesterday...


September 30, 2007.

"Mom, I come with the LOUD package; it was an upgrade you know!"


Oct. 1, 2007. (Antonio is my two year old...who was 18 months at the time)

"Mom, Antonio belongs in a Chinese family; he speaks Chinese and I can't understand ONNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE word he says!!!! We should drop him off or something..."

This is a summer one (but a classic no doubt):

So Carmelo is sitting at the reception desk at the salon, helping his dad.
This little old lady walks in ( a regular client) and says to Carmelo: "well, hello young man..."
Carmelo: "Can I help you?"
Lady: "when did you start working here? I've never seen you here before?"
Carmelo: "oh, I've worked here since I was born! I'm the MANAGER here; that's why you've never seen me!...I get paid $7000.00 thousand a week; I don't need to come in everyday!!!!!"

Oct. 3, 2008.

So Carmelo has been waiting forever to start violin lessons. We were recommended this phenomenal teacher from a friend who is into the music business here in Ottawa. When I called her (the teacher), she immediately told me that she is VERY selective with her choice of students. She doesn't teach just anybody. She interviews them first extensively...

So our interview was yesterday...and when we opened the door...she said "soooo you are CaRRRRRRmelo?" My immediate thought was great...she's rolling her R's ...here we go with Carmelo;

CaRRRRRRRRmelo proceeds to tell her that he is left handed.

Teacher: OH! well...that will make it very easy for you to play violin as that's the hardest part is where the left hand is placed.
Did you know CaRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR melo that scientists' believe that left handed people are gifted and special.

Carmelo: WELLLLLLLLLL....I wouldn't believe scientists! They've been arguing since the beginning of time whether zero is a number or not. I mean come on! Who cares?!!!

Teacher; Okay. Ummm... soooooo CaRRRRmelooooo...the violin is a very difficult instrument to master. Some of the most renown composers were actually a little crazy. They were so outstandingly talented, and passionate that it made them a little coo-coo!

Carmelo: (intently listening with a raised eyebrow)

Me: (thinking...oh shit...)

Teacher: ya, so their compositions are still very famous today, even though people of their time thought they had a loose screw or two...composers like Vivaldi, Benedetti, Mozart...Beethoven...

Carmelo: ...(long pause) Well that should settle it! I fit right in!!!

Teacher: (confused) ummm...how so?

Carmelo: BECAUSE EVERYONE THINKS I'M CRAZY TOO!!!

HE STARTS VIOLIN NEXT WEEK!!!

This WEEK!

First of all,

My deepest apologies for not updating this blog. My hubby was home sick for three days. My hubby needs to be entertained 24/7...so when he didn't want to chat with me, he was hogging the computer. But, I'll air on the bright side again; at least he's interested in me ;) and wants to spend time with me.

My dinner out on Sunday was pleasurable. We went out to eat at the 'Baccara' here at the casino. It was a nice outing with my hubby. You know what's really difficult? On Oprah, (ya I know...I watch WAY to much Oprah...but she's my hero...and I learn so much from that show!) tips on spending time with your spouse; when out on a date; do not talk about the kids. That is next to impossible!!!! Nonetheless, we had a great night. I had my chocolate fix ( my treat night). My hubby even heartily express how he enjoyed spending some quiet time together! I'm really grateful for him...

Today, I have a packed day. With my hubby being ill all my housework is backed-up. I love everything to be in order, everything is much smoother, and I'm happier.

I'm going to also work on the article I've been promising.

On my lifestyle change. Things are good. I'm eating well. Drinking my water. I'm working out. Still waiting for those Tracy method DVDs. My kids and I organized the basement on Saturday. I set myself up a gym. Would you believe I have a top of the line elliptical and treadmill down there; that was collecting dust? My basement is unfinished...but we fixed it up nicely. I also put up the TV so my kids can play wii and I can do my work-out DVDs hopefully in peace!
I know I had talked about not being able to work-out at home. But, some days...it's next to impossible to drag everyone out to go to the gym. It's just easier to stay home. On those days, I fully plan to work-out at home!

This week:

Monday:
1 hr training
45 minutes cardio
Tanning :)

Tuesday:
Nothing; does nursing a sick hubby count? no..:(

Wednesday:
1 hr training
35 minutes cardio

Thursday:
Ziltch :(
(My trainer cancelled...)

Friday:
30 minutes cardio (AT HOME!!!)

Saturday:
30 minutes cardio
Yoga/Pilates

New Weight!
Another pound gone...

34lbs down!!!!!!!


Have a blessed day!
Kimmy

The Inspiring Jenny McCarthy on Oprah...

...currently working on this story...

Come back soon!

Hugs,
Kimmy

My Week ...

This week will mark the beginning of a weight loss competition between my trainer, my incognito training partner and myself. First one to lose ten pounds wins a $ 100 dollar Lulu lemon gift card! So I love a competition...and it's going to be fun!
I'll be updating this post as I go along. This is my week and what I'm doing work-out wise...I can see that Lulu lemon gift card in my hand now :)...

Monday:
-Training
-35 minutes cardio

Tuesday:
-Yoga
-60 minute walk

Wednesday:
-Training
-30 minutes cardio

Thursday:
NOTHING>>>My hubby went for a massage and I had no sitter. My house was a disaster zone and my kids were tired. Then I thought of my comment about 'Nannies' and 'Maids' in the post before and thought "EFF!, if I had a Nanny I'd be working out right now and if I had a Maid my house would be all in order too! But, in my usual happy self I answered back: "ya, but their Nannies can not show-up on them either!" ;) Then I watched my pvr'd episode of Jenny McCarthy on Oprah! Ah....I felt a tinge of guilt...being a Mother Warrior is not so bad after all! :)

Friday:
NOTHING :(...My house needed to be organized, and cleaned. I decided instead of going to the gym at night, just to stay home and watch tv with my kids. So all of us curled up on the couch and watched a few episodes of "The Suite Life of Zack and Cody". We had popcorn (smart pop ;) ) and just spend time together. We all needed it. Sometimes you just need to stand back and let life happen. Just go with the flow.

Saturday:
Yoga
Pilates

So that was my week. Good news to report. Down another 1 lb! That makes 32 lbs gone now! So I was feeling great about that. Earlier in the week, I retrieved my rings (they had been in storage since her move). My beautiful rings still don't fit...I REFUSE to have them sized. I'll just have to wait and look forward to that day when I can slip them on again...

I am 3 lbs away from winning my bet with my incognito training partner
I am 9 lbs away from winning my bet with my ITP and trainer ( 10 lb bet).

I am also feeling amazing. I really have alot more energy.

Tomorrow is cheat day...so no sense even going there. My hubby is taking me out for a nice dinner with some friends. I'm looking forward to dressing up and socializing with my hubby. A good reward after a great week...

xoxoxo
Kimmy

Inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow...

I don't know if any of you had the chance to catch Gwyneth on Oprah the other day. If not, I highly recommend you go to Oprah.com and check it out! What an inspiration!
I had a huge "Aha" moment. LOL Not that I hadn't realized this before, but you know the kind of 'AHA' moment that hits you on the head and you think: Oh...ya! I understand!!!!
Gwyneth works out 2 hours, six days a week! She affirms that she is not born with that body. She has to work at it... Sure, most celebrities like Gwyneth, Madonna, Jennifer Aniston have trainers, chefs, nannies, maids, assistants ect...But, it still takes the dedication to get that butt in the gym and burn some serious calories for two hours, six days a week!! If you look at the clip of Gwyneth...her work-out is NO diva inspired walk in the park! I was huffing and puffing just watching! These celebrities REALLY work hard for their bodies. Whenever I'm feeling like I don't want to work-out, I think about these celebrities that train for their bodies. Oprah wakes up at 5 am...to work-out! I could never do that...nah...What I want to also emphasize is that Oprah doesn't have to get up at 5 am. Heck, she don't even have to show up for work either. But, she does because she wants to live her best life. She wants to be the best she can be. You don't get that from sitting on the couch and sulking. You get it from getting out there and training. You get it from consistency and dedication!
So the next time you look at Jennifer Aniston or Gwyneth and wish you had a body like that...think of what effort goes into it. AND Madonna who is fifty and looks better than I have at any age! Wow!

So I was inspired. Yep. Gwyneth and Madonna work-out with a trainer name Tracy Anderson. Her philosophy is long and lean. She feels that women should look like women. So, I was curious and went to her website. Guess who just so happens to have come out with Dvd's? Yep! Guess who ordered them? Yep! LMAO...I'll let you know if the Tracy Anderson Method is worth the 85 dollars! :)

Have a great day!
Kimmy

A Little Sacrifice Goes a Long Way...

Yesterday, I had a meeting with my trainer. Mainly because she wanted to look over my weekly food tracker. Also, because I feel like I'm in a 'rut'. The scale is not budging that quick and I wanted to see if there was more I could do.

We both concluded that perhaps I am eating to many carbs in the day. NOT that I want to go carb free, but essentially that I need more protein during the day. I seriously don't believe in these no carb, low carb 'diets'. I've seen way to many times what this does to the system. For me, this is a lifestyle change...and that means that I need to do this slowly, naturally and normally.

So, a few things I'm going to change is;

My usual morning breakfast consisted of a toasted english muffin and 1/2 glass orange juice. We've switched to oatmeal with berries. Alternatively, I may have my english muffin but with organic natural peanut butter instead of butter and jam.
Also, I need a few more snacks in the day. A delicious snack suggested by my trainer is apples and peanut butter. Peanut butter is an excellent source of protein. But, the importance is that it is natural peanut butter and organic is a bonus.

Furthermore, I always try to eat organic as much as I can. We have enough toxins, and hormones in our environment and food to start off with. Trying to cut back even a little is helpful in my opinion. Every little bit is beneficial!

Speaking of that, I also want to talk about making small sacrifices. Especially since I'm giving up my morning toasted english muffin with butter and jam! lol Making small changes in your daily nutrition can make for large impacts. For instance, I used to take two teaspoons of sugar in my morning cappuccino. At one point, I had the mind set that I refused to take away my sugar. It was for me my morning sanity and pick-me-up for the day. I now empasize and whole heartedly stress that if you want change with your body, than you got to be willing to make the change in your lifestyle! Taking away one teaspoon of sugar...seems like a minute change but in fact;

1 tsp of sugar = 50 calories
50 calories x 365 days ( 1 year) = 18 250 calories

If one pound of fat = 3 500 calories and you've cut out 18 250 calories that means that you've saved 5 lbs!!!! Only by taking away 50 calories in one day! AMAZING!!!

" In today's world it is easy to eat healthier and make small sacrifices. It just takes commitement and a yearning on your part. Pledge yourself to wanting to make those 'small' changes. Remember and be alert. Simply making small changes can have huge impacts. Make the choice healthier. Think twice and shop around for alternatives. You are not substituting taste, you are shifting to an improved lifestyle. " - Spiritual Journey Through Weight Loss; A Light Way!

Other small changes I've made:

• non-fat yogurt instead of regular yogurt ( same great taste but a saving of 100 cal.)
• skim milk instead of cream or regular milk
• splenda instead of sugar or less sugar
• smart pop instead of chips or higher fat popcorn
• frozen yogurt or skinny cow (yum!) instead of ice cream
• my favourite starbucks drink comes in a light version; I save 230 cal. !

Well, I'm off...it's snack time and I'm going to go test out this peanut butter and apple snack!

Hugs,

Kimmy

I received an email inquiry from a woman who hadn't lost yet ten pounds so my 10 lb potato bag trick wouldn't apply. Another trick is butter. For instance, today I stepped on the scale and I'm 1/2 pound down. May seem discouraging. So I pull out my pound of butter, I lost half of that! Yes! At least my weight loss is on the right path. Even .5 lb is quite alot when you look at it that way. So count your 1/2 lbs and 1 lbs of butter! It all adds up or down rather. ;)

So yeah, another half pound gone (for good). Pretty good considering I haven't been getting all my water in. I have been averaging about 8 glasses a day. So hard to reach that 12 glass target. I have to make more of an effort in that department. I truly know that when I consume all my water, it's easy for my body to flush away the toxins, and fat. When fat is oxidized (burned) and consumed into energy, a waste product is produced that must be flushed from the body to maintain proper health and continue with the fat loss performance. Water essentially helps my body function better. Those who retain excess water are people who simply don't drink enough water. When the body doesn't receive enough water, it goes into a survival mode and responds by storing water resulting in weight gain or bloating. When I drink more water, I have more energy and I am feel more full...so it keeps me from eating and keeps me active at the same time.
Water is absolutely essential to weight loss! There is NO way around it.
Here are some tricks I use to help get my water in:

I drink a glass first thing in the morning (before my coffee). It's a great wake-up for your body.

I drink a glass before lunch and dinner

I drink one glass before going to bed

When I'm working-out...I always consume at least 2 glasses during my work-out (that's 500ml) and one post work-out

That's seven glasses right there! The other five I have to get in between.
I always carry a water bottle with me wherever I go. I also always have water bottles in my fridge ready to go.
Once you get in the habit, water becomes part of your daily ritual. You will find that when you don't drink your water...you will feel blah.

Another thing I must do, I have been saying this for quite some time; My vision board. I read "The Secret", I watched "The Secret", and I read many other books on manifesting abundance. What do I have to say about it? Well, I truly believe that we have the power to manifest whatever we wish and desire. The Law of Attraction is a powerful tool we bear. It's not only about having material desires. It's more about living the life you always dreamed of. Living your best life. Being the best you were meant to be. Embracing your magnificence NOW. Most importantly, it's more than just ASK, BELIEVE AND RECEIVE.
In my opinion, first and foremost, your desire has to come from a place of love. That deep within feeling of love. Love is essentially the highest frequency we can emit. The more love, the more power! Kryon said : "When you call upon the love of God and exercise pure intent, there will be miracles." So anything else, just won't be as mighty. So your desire has to come from a good place and be for a good reason. Like when you are praying for someone to re-cover from an illness. That is a great example. If you pour love into the prayer; it makes it that much more powerful. Not to say that God doesn't listen to all our prayers. As a matter of fact, it's like saying Thank you...and really meaning it. There is a difference between a 'thanks' and a "oh...thank you, I appreciate this so very much". Emotion is a very powerful tool!

The second loop hole is letting go. "Let Go and Let God" This is really the hard part. There is an ancient saying; "if you hang on to your desire, it makes it difficult for the angels to take your prayer up to the heaven's." Why? Because you are hanging on to it...lol By letting go, you are allowing the Universe to take over and make magic happen! Release! Release! Release!

Thirdly, take action! For example, you can't sit on the couch, eating away to oblivion and expect to lose weight. You got to help the universe along. Work at it. Live it and dream it.
Four years ago, a friend of mine told me a little ritual she performs every New Years Day. In a quiet moment, she jots down ten goals or desires for the year. She then gives thanks for the year past and is grateful for the year ahead. She then burns the paper and releases the 'prayer'. She proceeded to tell me the power of this ritual and how it brought much abundance into her life in all ways and forms.. On New Years Day in 2004, I gave it a shot. What did I have to lose? Over the course of the year, I forgot about my list. I mostly forgot what I had put down on my list. That is my memory; great for releasing and letting go! lol
Anyhow, over the course of a couple of years, I slowly realized that all my list had come to fruition. Like magic! It wasn't until I had the item or desire that it would hit me: "wow...this was on my list!". AMAZING!

Okay! Back to the vision board. So essentially * a vision board is a board. :) On it, you can put photos, mantra's quotes...anything you desire. Another good friend of mine recently was telling me how she had manifested everything on her vision board. It was time for her to refill the board so to speak! Wow!
My vision board...when I finally get to it will surely have many fitness mantra's, my perfect body ect.....:) I'll post a photo as soon as I get it completed!

To everyone, I leave you today with this...we are in the midst of a glorious time. It is now or never! Get off the couch! Live your best life...what are you waiting for?

Love,
Kimmy

What's going on thus far...

So my blog has had a few extra hits in the last day or so...THANK YOU! I hope you are inspired!

For those of you who have not been following religiously my plight...here it is:

I had lost 100 lbs, went through some emotional stuff, worked through it, had another baby (my third) and gained 80 lbs back!
I know...I know...I cry to sometimes at the thought! I worked sooooooo hard to lose that 100 lbs. I was so proud when I got the call from the producers of Oprah. My fear has been another call only to tell them...sorry....I can't come...I'm not a weight loss success story!" I know they will call back someday. hahaha
When I'm doing crunches, or struggling with a work-out; I could just scream out loud! WHY OH WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF AGAIN!!! Moreover, every time, EVERY DAMN TIME I walk into the plus size store I cringe! I thought I would never step foot in that store again! Never say never...So that is why I'm back on the wagon...this time I may fall off occasionally but I will keep up with the wagon and not lose sight of it so far that it disappears completely!

I'm an optimist at heart. Sometimes, I hate that about me too...so it's okay to dislike me occasionally. On the other hand, alot of lessons have been learned throughout this journey. For one, I realize that nothing is a given in life. Especially when it comes to my weight issues. I'm a food addict! Chocolate makes me melt! I was also lucky to marry an italian. I love pasta!!!
This is something I will have to work with for the rest of my life. It's okay. It makes me a better person ( I think)...lol
This is what I have done so far. I have lost 29 lbs and 14 3/4 inches. It doesn't seem like much. I have a secret weapon of a trick that keeps me on track and in reality of how much weight that is. (So if you ever see this at your grocery store; it's my trick!) In the produce aisle, I go and I pick up 3 ten pound bags of potatoes. That's how much I have lost. So if you've lost ten pounds and you think: "ten pounds...big deal"...try it! Or if you've gained ten pounds etc...It will amaze you!
I have gotten myself a personal trainer through Goodlife. I know, I know...it's very expensive. I can completely justify it. For one, the money I spend on a trainer is money I would throw away elsewhere like on purses, clothes (that I never feel comfortable in), products etc...So why not invest in myself and my sanity? Moreover, I have a state of the art gym in my basement complete with every DVD ever made on fitness, yoga, pilates etc...except for one thing; I never make it down there! I'm just a queen procrastinator. I'd rather do fifteen loads of laundry, clean bathrooms, vacuum then go down there to work-out. There is always something that needs to be done around here. Furthermore, I get interrupted a million times in a thirty minute period. So much that a half hour work-out session turns into a two hour fiasco of frustration! So I give-up!!!!
To boot, I was so shy to go back into the gym being overweight...having that trainer by my side helps me feel powerful and convincing.
Having a personal trainer means I'm committed. That's why I'm getting results. When I train, I eat well and I drink my water. Getting a personal trainer is the best money I've ever spent on myself!
With that being said, I better go drink some more water and having a healthy lunch. I'm training today at 4 PM...

Cheers!
Kimmy

Water

My trainer gave me an interesting article on water. It really sums it up nicely without going into to much detail.

Under normal conditions, the body needs for one day;

1. 2 glasses for the lungs
2. 2 glasses for the skin
3. 1 1/2 glasses for breathing
4. 1 1/2 glass for the intestines and digestion
5. 5 1/2 glasses for the kidneys

So your body requires 12 glasses (12 x 8oz.) of water daily JUST to function !

Umm....

Okay, well...let's see lot's to report so let's get to it.

I went back to bed on Friday morning, and realized afterwards that I HAD planned to go to the gym. Nonetheless, I was very tired as we had lot's of company the night before. Life is so busy!
I get so frustrated sometimes. It's really not easy being a mom and wanting to be fit and work-out. Most times, I feel selfish and guilty when I make the effort to go to the gym. Luckily my husband is quite supportive, but still.
I laid in bed all cozy with my hubby and I realized: "shoot I was supposed to be at the gym right now...." Next week....please...!

My trainer;

She's great. Tough but good. She's making sure I sweat! LOL

I didn't do yoga either. ARGHHHH!!! Next week is going to be very busy too. But, that is life. So I need to get my act together. My healthy lifestyle is about my lifestyle and not about the one I wish I had.

I realized the other day, that I haven't worn my wedding rings since I was 6 months pregnant. That was almost three years ago. I'm afraid to try them on because after I had Antonio there was no way those rings were even going to fit even on my pinky!!!!
That will be a HUGE feat for me to wear my rings again. I REFUSE to have them fitted. I am determined to wear them again. I'm so exhausted from looking like a single woman with three kids.... Another goal to add to my list!

The list sure is growing. Whatever works....

Hugs!
Kimmy

Just another day....

Here is a day in my life...LOL...Thank the Universe I have a sense of humour.

"When Life throws you a curveball...you got to catch it and throw it back!" -Kimmy

Sooooo this was my day>>>>>>>(Monday) I was leaving to go get Carmelo at school ...as usual I'm leaving at almost the last minute. Then I was off to the gym, and the kids in the daycare. The van is all to one side...and my neighbour says: "hey Kim...ya got a flat tire there!" Cue the blackest clouds and big wind!!!! So I rush, pull out the stroller, grab Antonio and my starbucks and all my gym stuff. No way I was leaving my starbucks behind!!!!So I'm pushing the stroller, holding on to my coffee and trying to rush. The roads are bumpy...so boom my coffee spills everywhere on me. Luckily...I had a jacket on...but I got some on my jogging pants. EFF!!!! So Cue in the storm! It starts raining!!! Pouring....and the wind...I can hardly keep pushing as the wind is pushing me back. I am now ten minutes late to pick up Carmelo. So finally I get there...soaked....and we walk into the gym....smelling like coffee and looking like drowned rats. But, I'm at the gym....because I want to work-out and be fit!!! Low and behold my trainer has a nice surprise planned...a military/police type fitness test!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO.....so during my training session...I hear Antonio crying...he got hurt...so naturally I go see if I can help him. Sooooooooo now he doesn't want to stay anymore. So I decide fine...it's for the best, I guess... Upon leaving the gym, I decide to walk to LOEB and buy a ready cooked chicken....so I buy a chicken, some wedges and some chicken strips for the kids. Walking home Carmelo wants to carry the food ....okay....well he trips!!!!!!!!!!!!! And alllllllll the food flies everywhere on the road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't even pick it up or salvage some because it's in the middle of the road and just like on TV...a car comes whizzing by and runs over our dinner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So....I come around the corner to the house...half upset...deciding...well sandwiches it is!.... I see Diodato (I leave him home alone when I train for an hour...but he has to stay in the house and cannot answer the door)...WELLLLLL There he is in the middle of our muddy yard...digging up rocks and putting them in my new wagon!!!! WITH his brand new PUMA running shoes covered in MUD!!!!!!!!!
:) Ever have one of those days????

Well, my August "slump" is now over so to speak. I've lost those three pounds (ya it turned out to be three pounds) that I had gained. So, I'm back to that.
It feels like I've lost a whole month. But, like I said in a prior blog; I have to focus on the mental side of things. I did alot of mental work in that month. The fact that I climbed back on the wagon is a huge feat. I have goals and I will conquer them.
My Goals for September:
-lose five pounds (which will bring me in a new weight number)
-start doing yoga (twice a week)
-work-out four-five times a week (three times with my trainer, two times on my own)
My main goal is to go to the gym on one morning after dropping off my son at school. I'm not a morning person so for me this is a HUGE feat. If I want to be successful at this weight loss; that's what it's going to take. So next week (September 12) I will report back that I went to the gym that morning!
I have huge incentive: a wedding to attend on October 11th. So I will post a photo of my dress; and that will motivate me to look my best in it!
I'm also training with the new trainer. I can attest that there is a bonus of training with a female trainer. But, it does have it's down side. So female or male...it's all personal preference.
My eating is going much better this week. I have to focus on getting all that water in!
Well I'm off...BECAUSE I'M GOING TO DO SOME YOGA!
xoxo
Kimmy