Lesson Learned

We all know being a parent is not an easy job. Parenting doesn't come with a manual or instructions. However, I try to read everyone's advice on the subject, you just never know what you will learn. For us, long gone are the night feedings, the diapers, the sterilizing of bottles. Nonetheless, we now find ourselves drifting into uncharted territories of adolescence.

I've so heard many horror stories of the hormone ages. Parents reminding me to enjoy my babies as one day they'd grow-up to be teenagers! Somehow, I always looked forward to these days. After all, being a mom of three boys is easy. When my three year old throws a tantrum, I walk away confident that I know he'll be fine and over it. I've been through this stage twice already. I've mostly seen it all. When my seven year old gets rude, I have the retort ready. Sorry buddy been down that road and back again.

However, my thirteen year old is now taking me down unschooled area. I now feel like a first time parent again. Questioning all my decisions, second guessing all my words, feelings of vulnerability. Cringing on topics such as Internet awareness, sex, drugs and whatever else I need to 'bring up in discussions'.


A few weeks ago, Diodato approached me telling me that he wanted to be an avid golfer. He is a pretty good golfer, and does much better at solo sports. I had a brainwave of an idea. I registered Diodato for the CJGA (Canadian Junior Golf Association) where he could take-part in golf tournaments around our area. He loved the idea. I registered him, and then signed him up in all the tournaments in our city and surrounding area. Note to self and others who come after me, do not throw your kids out to the wolves first time out!


The first tournament was this week-end. My husband had already warned me that it was being held at a very difficult golf course. No problem, I so thought. What I didn't know, was that I had signed him up for a very elite international tournament. The tournament would be even stricter than a PGA Tour event! What was even worse was that my son wasn't even prepared for what lie ahead. Usually, when he golfs he relies on his father, or golf mates for the rules and regulations of golf if he is in doubt. Anyone, who has ever golfed on a true golf course can attest that golf has more rules, regulations than the military! The golf rules and regulations handbook is thicker than the bible itself.

Professional golfers have caddies to keep them on par for rules, regulations, yardage etc...This tournament wouldn't allow such thing. Not so bad if you are prepared, have golfed a tournament in the past, or have studied the rules ahead of time and no what you have to face. We had no idea. More importantly, Diodato had no clue. Here was my son ready to tee off and a marshall (the equivalent of a police chief) began barking orders to the kids about following the rules and regulations of golf. What was more intimidating was there were equivalent rules for the parents. No direct eye contact with your children, maintain a 30 metre distance from your child at all times and if your child needs a drink leave it behind walk away, the golfer would pick it up one the 30 metre perimeter was established. Crazy! In addition, the security was tighter than a high security prison. My hubby watched hopelessly as nerves took over and swallowed our son.


I knew something was awry when I hadn't heard any reports from my hubby all day despite my continued text messages. The fact of the matter is, he was withering watching the events unfold before him. Our son crumbled, and there was nothing my hubby or anyone else could do but watch until the round of golf was over. Finally, the phone rang and I answered awaiting the news of the round. My husband hardly could speak. The only thing he could say was that our son looked pitiful out on the course, even other spectators felt for him. I could feel his deep sadness. What happened? I too became heavyhearted. What had we done? I immediately ran to the kitchen and proceeded to make Diodato his favourite dinner, like any good mother would do. Ultimately, he would be starving by the time they arrived. I began cooking like a mad woman hoping my son would overcome this set-back.

As soon as I opened the door, I looked into my sweet child's eyes. What I saw looking back was something I'd never seen before. I just wanted to cry. He looked defeated, extremely discouraged and just plain finished! It was as though I had sent him to the front lines of a war in which there would be no chance. A soldier ambushed with no back-up or support. Every ounce of confidence or happiness had been completely sucked out. What had we done? Would he ever even golf again?


"I don't want to go back there tomorrow! I wasn't prepared. The hardest tournament of the year they said. My first! I am not going back! I was embarrassed because I was so nervous. I couldn't think, I was afraid to break a rule." Being the optimistic mother that I am, that answer was unacceptable. He had to go back, after all quitting is not an option. The lesson he would have to learn. I dug deep and began giving him the 'speech'. "Successful people all have faced adversity. They have overcome it and been better because of it. Nothing can be given to you. It can't come on a silver platter. Work for it. Go for it. Suck it up!" Nothing I could say or do would change his mind. I was frustrated. I felt his disappointment. I too was discouraged. This I felt was an enormous, crucial lesson and experience he needed to learn. I needed to think, re-group and find a way to change his mind.

Finally, after a few hours past the answer came to me. It had to come from him. He is thirteen now and old enough to make these choices on his own. He is mature enough to face the consequences of his decisions. That is how he is going to learn. If he chooses not to take my advice, coaxing or wisdom that is his choice. Something, I must honour and respect. This is how he chose to deal with the situation. I would have to accept it.

I walked into his room, hugged him and told him how proud of him I was. Finishing the round took guts. If he chose not go the next day, that would be fine by me. "Thanks, Mom. I didn't want to disappoint you. Next tournament, I'll be more prepared. I just need to practice more."

Lesson learned for me.

The Secret to my Success

I have a secret, or rather a method to my 'madness'. It's not my cute smile, my beautiful eyes, my jolly giggle, my nice jeans or my designer purse!

Wherever I go, whatever I'm doing, whenever I'm in a pinch, a bind or just need advice, I call upon them. They are always there to help me, always guiding me...faster than a speeding bullet, quicker than a flash of light, stronger than even superman. They stand by you 24/7 ready and on call. Long distance charges do not apply!

Let me introduce you to my friends the ' Angels'. Your friends too. They are amazingly divine. I don't know how I'd ever get through it without them. They have saved me countless times. They have nudged me when I needed to be nudged. They have protected me when I needed protection. They have held me in my darkest hours, and been the first to cheer during my best moments. They have cried with me, laughed with me, they are always by my side. They even listen to me as I babble along about my problems, issues, wants, needs etc...

You would be surprised how many of us believe in them and use them daily. Even celebrities call upon their power to guide them through their daily tasks. After all, it's not when you are falling off the mountain that you call your best friend to come and save you! Jenny McCarthy is an avid fan of angels. As of course is Oprah Winfrey. Some of the most successful humans of our times and times past have prayed to angels for guidance, power, wisdom and assistance. That is no secret.

The secret though is to ask for help! Just like you would call upon a friend. Angels have our upmost respect and would never cross that line. They honour our free will, which is a universal law. They love to be our friends, and assist us whichever way they can. All you have to do is ask and let go!

Here are ways they have helped in the past. The following are true stories!

-Whenever I'm going to be somewhere where someone is going to be of 'service' to me. I always try to book ahead with the angels. For instance, when my son Antonio was going to have surgery, something that is very nerving for parents. I called upon the angels to bring to Antonio the best nurses, doctors and surgical team. Our prayers are answered always. Upon arriving to the hospital we were given our surgical nurse. She would be the nurse to stay with us before Antonio's surgery, during his surgery and through recovery. She was crucial for the entire process. When she first walked in, I was floored. Here was the most angelic being. She had a sweet soft voice that even would calm the most anxious person. She was great with Antonio and knew exactly what he needed. The best part was that her scrubs were covered in angels! :>

-I always ask the angels to help me when I'm driving. I'm a very nervous/anxious driver and would rather be a passenger any day! They always help me get out of tight squeezes, find me the perfect parking spot and even help me get to where I'm going right on time. I just have to remember to call upon them!

-One of my favourite all time stories that really made a believer out of my children was the time our dog Nina ran away. Now Nina is a happy go-lucky dog. She absolutely LOVES people. When the door is open she will rush out just to be able to meet new people. She will run and run...and run. We have all been trained not to open the door until Nina is safely in the office. Sometimes, accidents do occur or rather Nina communicates to the wrong family members her need to meet new people.
Our little guy Antonio was playing quietly when Nina went to the front door and sat quietly. I saw her there, and told her: "no, Nina you cannot go outside." I went about my work when suddenly I heard the front door open and the voice of Antonio: 'bye Caca! bye!" (Antonio couldn't say Nina at the time, he called her Caca) I yelled: "NOOOOO!" but even by then it was to late! Nina was gone in a flash!
We ran outside after her but there was already no trace of her. The boys each ran their own way yelling her name to no avail. I grabbed Antonio and got in the van. My oldest son Diodato hopped on his bike. Carmelo took the home post in case a friendly neighbour found her. After an hour, I returned home dog less. Carmelo had no success on the home front either. I called my son Diodato on his cell phone. He too had no luck and everyone he asked had not seen her either. It was almost hopeless. I knew that as time went by the chances of finding Nina alive and well were diminishing. We live close to a very busy intersection and if my hunch had it Nina would run there first. I told Diodato to make his way back home as I knew the further he looked, the more likely he would find a site that even I didn't want to see. He wouldn't give-up. I was finally able to call him back after he had biked for three hours.

When he returned home defeated, I gathered my kids and we prayed. We called upon St. Anthony the patron saint of finding lost items. We also asked the Angels and Archangel Michael to keep our dear Nina safe until she could be rescued. As soon as we had all finished saying amen, I got an idea. Nina was wearing her old tag with our old phone number on it. What if someone had found Nina and called our old number? I called our old number and left a very strange message. About an hour later, the new owner of our old number called back! Indeed someone had called saying they had found a white dog in the middle of the highway! They left me the cell number of the 'rescuer'. So happy, we called the rescuer; his name was Anthony! He and his friend Michael had rescued Nina from a certain death on the highway! Nina was safe and sound; rescued by Anthony and Micheal!

So many countless stories. To many to recall. Angels are my heroes. I work with them everyday and thank them every night along with my gratitude to God for all my blessings. I dedicate today's blog to all my angels who have helped me on my path in God's name. Without them...I'd be lost.

Namaste!
Kimmy
We all cheered and said a prayer of thanks!

Happening's in and around

So many things to talk about; where to begin? Before we do begin, a word of caution, I appologize in advance for 'crappy' writing today. I'm exhausted! I have this leg crampy, stiffness and shaky leg and hand thing happening. I'm not getting much sleep. I'm feeling like age is creeping up on me. Being Kimmy means that I'm looking at it as a sign to start eating cleaner and healthier.

Last night, we watched 7 Pounds staring Will Smith. What a movie! Nothing like an inspirational movie to make you dig deep within. Love it! The thing that stuck in my heart the most is that; 'always be good, because you never know who is watching and when they are going to step in and change your life for the better!'. So true!

I've also been busy doing other things. I've started reading Bob Harper (The Biggest Loser)'s book. Trying to inspire myself. Hey, Bob! I'd love for you to be my trainer! Could you imagine me on the show? Nope. I'd never be able to leave my family for that long. Besides, Bob...what would you do with a girl like me with so many issues! LOL Never say never....

My plan is to start going to the gym soon. I have this shaking thing going on with my legs and hands. Even walking around the block takes everything out of me! I now have the perfect opportunity to go to the gym (excuse/guilt free) at least twice a week while my kids are all in school. My three year old started pre-school this week and the gym shares the same parking lot! Mind you he only goes twice a week, but still no excuses! I have to start back somehow, someway!

I see my doctor on Tuesday about this shakiness going on. Hopefully, it's something minor. It's been a long haul. It's time to go back to the gym and start feeling good again.

Last week, Kirstie Alley came out and admitted she had gained her weight back! Huge Kudos to you Kirstie. That takes guts...believe me I know! Ten fold for her since she's a celebrity and all. We all have been down that road, and can feel her pain and frustration. It's getting back on the wagon that counts and taking things one step at a time in the right direction.

That's it for now. I'm going to go give myself a facial, complete with hydroxy mask and cuccumbers! lol This shaky thing is really making me think. Before wrinkles start to creep in too...

Sending you all hugs, love and giggles for the day. Drink your water and take your vitamins!!!

Kimmy

Dreams

Last night, I had a strange dream. In it, I was at a swanky club with my friends. The music was blarring and it was a happening place to be. I was fit and much thinner. It certainly was an out of body experience. As I looked down at myself sitting at the table drinking a margarita I thought outloud (oh wow! I'm beautiful, I love those jeans on me...but I'm still fat in real life! Gosh, love dreams! ha ha ha) Anyhow, another voice piped up and said: look at her confidence. She is a sex goddess because she's confident and radiant! She's comfortable and she feels amazing. OKAY!? Got to hold on to that feeling. I want to just stay with this Kimmy forever.

Next thing you know, I ran into someone from my recent past. A much younger hot guy, I might add. He bought me a drink and I could feel my friends glaring at me. The "oh oh glare." Yep, puma Kimmy! A desperate housewife moment for sure. Hot guy was just telling me how he was missing my beautiful smile, funny sense of humour and my hot glow. Did he just say "hot" to me? To bad he has a nice new girlfriend. Yes, and too bad I'm maaaaarrrrr... Only to be busted up by my hubby's friend. "Hey! What are you doing here and standing so close to muscle man?" Funny! I was just going to ask you the same thing! "What are YOU doing here?" Now that you mention it, hot guy does have bulging biceps. I never noticed them before. Speaking of hot! Back to the fact that I am busted, but I look good even busted! Hot guy stays by me and stares defiantly at... Beep! Beep! Beep!...that damn morning alarm!

Throughout the entire dream I kept berating myself. Look at you! You glow! You are healthy and beautiful! This is you! The real you! So true! I awoke feeling confident, and trying to hold on to the goddess aura that had surrounded me in my dream. I realized it was the same energy I felt when I had lost my 100lbs. I clearly was dreaming of the old thinner Kimmy before my weight re-gain. That thought sent shivers down my spine and an overwhelming sense of sadness. How I miss that girl!
As Jillian Michaels has famously said: "The past does not define, you the present does." It is important, for me to quit looking back at this weight loss/gain as a failure. But, rather hold on to those feelings and the confidence of the inner goddess. That is the true test.

Talking the talk and walking the walk are two different entities. I often find myself thinking: "when I am thinner I will always make sure to exfoliate my skin, and never go out without make-up. Gone will be the stretchy pants and hello tight fitting jeans. How strange. Athletes who train do not tell themselves that they will eat properly once they are at olympic status. They do not start training once they are nationally recognized. Instead, they set the goal and work towards it EVERYDAY. With every new choice, with every sacrifice they are taking one step closer to their dream. They live in the dream in order to make it reality. They focus and visualise and bring their dream to fruition. The power unleashed is amazing.

This power can be released for whatever. For instance, Tiger Woods has this amazing virtue to visualize the exact shot he wants to make before he makes it. He focuses on the exact location he wishes the golf ball to go. Tiger Woods was not born with this gift. He worked at it. The same example can be used for so many other successful people of our world. The important thing to remember is that this gift is available to us all. Use it to improve your life. Life is a work in progress. Start living your dream life now and unleash the power to attract it to you today.

The same can be said for weight loss, and just simply being healthier. So this morning, I took a shower (a cold one :> ha ha ha), exfoliated my skin, I put on make-up and did my hair. I had to forgo the jeans *due to my hernia surgery but I put on my best stretch pants and a nice top. I did my hair. I felt awesome and focused on that goddess energy. I have drank four glasses of water, ate oatmeal with berries for breakfast and had a healthy omelet for lunch. I'm on a roll to goddess country.

The past is in the past. I can no longer berate myself for what ifs, and why. I can only move forward and focus on the future. That is the lesson I am taking from this dream. Live in the moment now, surround myself with the aura of who I am, and live the dream today. Quit living in the past and focus on the future of your dreams!

(If I run into hot guy...I'll keep you posted ;>)