The Universal Hammer

Have you ever been touched by an angel? Have you ever been given a message by a complete stranger, just when you needed it most? Have you ever been taught an important "Aha" moment by someone you don't even know? I've always known the Universe works in mysterious ways. I'm also a firm believer that when you need a pat on the back, a kind reminder or a hammer on the head - the Universe will find a way to deliver that message to you. More importantly, it comes as a whisper at first, then a gentle reminder, repeating and repeating, until finally - a hammer on the head!

The other day it happened to me; and it was a whopper, head banging message.

One of my best friend's and I set out shopping. As usual, we shared stories about our kids, and husbands. I found myself complaining, and venting mostly about my husband, and my kids. I was also feeling overwhelmed on the inside about the upcoming holiday season, and the demands it puts on the household; in particular me. As we chatted back and forth, we found comfort in each other, and managed to laugh our way through it.

As we arrived in the Christmas aisle at Costco, I came upon their Nativity set. Every year, I stare, hesitate and keep walking. Every year, I say the same thing: "I love that set, it's the most beautiful one, and I'm going to buy it." Every year, I don't buy it, and spend the one hundred dollars on a gift instead. This year was certainly no exception. As I admired it, I spoke out loud; "...it's so beautiful. I love it!" A woman beside me, agreed. I silently stared for a while longer, debating in my mind back and forth. Finally, I exclaimed; "...well guess I will call hubby, see what mood he is in, and ask for purchase approval." My friend and I both laughed out loud.

As I took my cell phone out of my purse, I felt a warm hand on my arm. It was the woman who had admired the Nativity set with me. "I would be calling my husband also right now for purchase approval, however my hubby died a few days before Christmas last year, so appreciate that you can call. I wish I could call my husband right now." Foot in my mouth. We all stood mouth agape. I choked back tears at her pain, and that of her family. "I'm sorry to hear that..." as I gently touched her arm back. She half-smiled and proceeded to speak of the fact that she was debating whether to buy the Nativity set in order to make a Christmas for her kids, despite the sorrow that surrounded them, and the fact that her mother-in-law felt it unnecessary to celebrate Christmas again this year. I cannot fathom the anguish, and the sadness that surrounds this family, especially during what is supposed to be the most magical time of the year.

I nodded, and realized an important lesson. I immediately grabbed the Nativity set, plopped it in my cart. We both smiled at each other, as she followed suit. Now every year, my Nativity set will be the first Christmas decor out. I will remember the important lesson this human angel taught me in the aisle of Costco on this fateful day. I will always cherish the holiday season, and it's true meaning, surrounded by my children and my husband. I will honour, cherish my hubby as much as I can despite my annoyances. I'm lucky to have my husband, and my children. We are fortunate to have each other...we must never take that for granted-ever!

This year, as we prepare for our busiest time of year - let us not forget this lesson. Cherishing those we love and honouring our time together always.

I know I will....

Remembrance Day

Today we remember, today we pay homage, today and everyday we say "thank you".

With gratitude to our Canadian soldiers past and present.

Let us never forget their sacrifices for our freedom.

"I always knew I was destined for greatness."

- Oprah Winfrey

I remember when I was a young girl, my brother went through a nasty divorce. It was an extremely difficult time for my family. The fighting, hostility and negative controversy that surrounded this entire situation, still affects my family to this day. The negative impact of lies can last generations.

Nevertheless, I recall a specific occasion where I became a potential victim in the web of venom. I was maybe 13 years old. On my own in the grocery isle, I walked passed my brother's former mother-in-law. Knowing almost everything she had said and done to degrade my parents, brother and siblings...I simply pretended she was not there, after all her mere presence beseeched her. Not missing a beat, and my presence obviously too juicy to pass-up, she felt the up most need to strike. She glared down at me and snickered under her breath; " Ugh...! I feel bad for you...you're a "Leacock" and you'll never amount to anything, like the rest of your family. A bunch of no good for nothing, french... LOSERS!"

I didn't even give her the satisfaction of her knowing that I had heard her. For her evil words fell on deaf ears, and my heart told me that...I was destined for greatness!

My Baby Rides a Bike

A Great Saturday Run With My Boys

Running. I love running...

The last little while with Carmelo in competitive soccer, and Diodato and myself wanting to be fit, I've been meaning to take my boys running. Real running on a real track.

We tried doing the running on the street with Carmelo. However, being close to home...never seemed to pan out, Carmelo would soon be back on our step with a 'no freakin' way I'm doing this." Trust me, he's no piece of cake when it comes to fitness.

A few times, the kids in our neighbourhood have attempted to work with Carmy. Hamooda had the great idea to build Carmy's leg muscles...jump ups on our steps. "I have no clue what this has to do with soccer, so...no thanks!" Fine, twenty sit-ups would be the punishment. Hill side up. "I'm only doing 2...I did not sign up for this." ARGH!!!! The only kid who remotely got close to training him was Massimo, and soon afterwards Carmelo sweaty, was at the patio door with a look of an imprisoned, abused child on his face. Let's not get into RUNNING. "What does soccer have ANYTHING to do with running? eh?! Tell me...that one!" We tell him everything, but he's a stubborn as they come. The only successful trainer he's had is Mark Hatfield of Hatfield's, and my hat goes out to him!

So, the other day I had an "AHA" moment. "Boys, how about we go to the track, do a run then I will take you to "Booster Juice". It was a great idea. But, would it work? Would I have a whiny four year old, and a crusty Carmelo? I had to chance it. I had to walk (or in this case) run the talk. We all geared up with running shoes, water bottles and i-touches.

It was a clear, cool sunny day. The weather was perfect for a run around the track. No excuses. The first run around the track, I thought for sure, I was going to die right there. I have to say, running on the real thing as opposed to a treadmill is way harder. When I finally reached the the starting point again, my lungs felt like they were bleeding. Seriously! I thought for sure, if I spit...there would be blood. Every breath hurt like my lungs were being stabbed over and over! However, Diodato (my 14 year old) ran by, and continued on. "umm, I thought...this was my idea, and here I am panting like a hot cow in July!". So, I pumped up my i-pod, and sprinted on.

There is something mysteriously motivating and enlivening about running on a track. I cannot explain fully into words the energy that one spans from the track. Whether it be the energy of the moment, or the aura of the runners past who have ran this very track too. With every new breathe, with every step forward and push forth of my arms, my body got into a running groove. Soon, my lungs settled down, and my legs worked hard on the track underneath it. The wind blew a gentle breeze amongst the trees around us. Even the clouds above seemed in sync with our run. It felt wonderful to be training outdoors. I let go, and felt free as I jogged on. Even Carmelo ran and loved it! Now that is a huge milestone.

During our run, Tony (my hubby) came by and watched us. The kids treasured it. I realized that this was the most fun (believe it or not) that my family and I had had in a long time. It was just us, no stress, no mess, the track and a familial achievement. We all did approximately 3k together. We all jogged at our own paces. Even my four year old Antonio ran with us. At one point he held my hand as we jogged around the track together, it was priceless. Nevertheless, there is never a dull moment in my household, and today was no exception. While running Carmelo turned to me: "Mom, when we are done burning fat, how about we go to Dairy Queen and celebrate!" That child!!! After their run, the boys and Tony then played a soccer scrimmage, while I did a few more sprint/walks around the track. It was wonderful.

It really is exhilarating to get moving as a family. I felt motivated by Diodato, inspired by Carmelo and joyful by Antonio. I felt loved by Tony who watched us run around the track with awe and pride.

I hope time will allow us to continue this running journey we have embarked on. Our goal as a family (Diodato, Carmelo and I) is to be able to easily run 5k, so that we can run the CIBC Run for the Cure, Breast Cancer Run in October in honour of my two mother-in-law's who have passed from the disease.

Be well and run on,

Still Around

Hey everyone!

I'm still around. Sorry, I have seemed to abandoned you. I'll be back with a longer post in the future. For the time being, I thought I'd pop in, and keep you all posted on my whereabouts.

I think I may have piled to much on my plate! I'm really having to balance alot these days. Much more than I bargained for. I can however say that I am officially a "Soccer Mom". I absolutely love it, and to those of you who have to endure my screams during my boys' games...my apologies, but I love cheering the boys on! "Mom...gees...you are embarrassing the crap out of me...keep it down!" -Carmy

Five days a week of soccer! Along with violin, and guitar lessons. I'm busy. To add more to it, I decided to continue my studies, and took another course towards my HRM (Human Resource Management) certification. BAD BAD mistake! Honestly, I'm overwhelmed.

Nevertheless, I'm keeping up with my healthy lifestyle, aside from a flu bug that has hit my household this week. I've been running on the treadmill, and even ran at the gym. Now for anyone who has never been overweight: that is a huge HUGE milestone. I even felt good running, I don't know how I looked to the other patrons...but I worked it! LOL

I really find that book "Woman, Food and God" has REALLY helped me in the eating department. It's so strange, but for the first time in my life...there is a different aura to food and eating for me. It's slowly paying off on the scale with a four pound deficit. Nonetheless, the strange part is; I don't care. It's just a number...but in a good way, not in the way where I would be in denial about my weight. More in the sense, that I am more than just a number. Release and let go...it does make sense and is so liberating.

Moreover, I'll tell you were my copy of the book went. I was sitting in the park reading while Carmelo was at violin and Antonio played in the park (the only time I get to read, or do schooling is either violin, guitar or soccer practice). Anyhow, I was at the park finishing the very last chapter of the book. I had tens of pages folded down with quotes I wanted to keep and re-read. A chubby woman walked by and noticed the book I was reading: "...oh, I saw that book on Oprah, I've been meaning to go buy it...is it worth it?" EVERY PENNY!!!

The woman was clearly overwhelmed with her five children under the age of 10. She looked worn, and stretched to her limits. I saw a reflection of the old me in her, and I wanted to give her a ray of hope. So, I immediately finished as fast as I could the chapter. As we left the park, I walked up to her and handed the book. "Enjoy, this book has helped me...you'll love it!" The woman got teary, and all she could say was 'thank you...wow...you are so kind, I've been wanting the book, but couldn't go purchase it."

Be well, and remember to pay it forward!

I love this book!

Here is an excerpt of the book I highly recommend. This week, hopefully I will have more time to blog about my 'AHA' moments and breakthrough's.
Until then, I wish you wellness!

http://www.oprah.com/health/An-Excerpt-from-Geneen-Roths-Women-Food-And-God

Wisdom from Jillian Michaels

Hey Everyone!

Start the weekend off right, with some wisdom from the great Jillian Michaels.

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/real-life/inner-you/rodale-article.aspx?cp-documentid=24218952

I Caved!!

BLAHHHHHH!!!!!



I finally caved, gave my rings to my hubby and had him bring them to the jewelers to have them re-sized. I had been hinting for so long, but deep down I didn't want them sized up. However, after nearly five years of being seen as a 'single Mom', it was time for my beautiful rings to be put back on. So Tony mentioned it again and offered to bring them in...and I handed him the platinum.


I'll be very honest, because that is what my blog is intended for: raw truth. After he left, I laid on my bed and cried. It was one of my long time goals; to have my rings fit me again. But, let's be honest...after five years, my diamonds are made to be worn, and not stored in a safe. It is what it is...and chocolate is my ENEMY!


Nonetheless, don't be fooled...I'm back to smiling (on the outside anyhow!).


The Universe never let's me down for too long though...lol (A Surprise Diamond upgrade would make me feel WAY better...!)

Nevertheless, I attended an open house at my son's school yesterday, a woman from my son's class came up to me randomly and thanked me for this blog. Cheers to you..."P's Mom". She said to me: "a woman I know well, recommended your blog to me to read about your struggle ( that's for sure!) with weight loss and how inspiring you are...I recognized it as being you when I read about Carmelo (the one and only!)...your blog is a wonderful read and such an inspiration (really?!)".

Yes, I do write to de-stress myself. Writing is extremely therapeutic for me. In addition, my wish is to inspire others because we all struggle with our body image, our family responsibilities, our marriages, our journeys, and with life in general. I love to share, learn and hearten. In return, I am the one that is inspired. Thank you!

So what have I been doing as of late? RUNNING!!! Fat girl runs! ha ha ha ( I know, not supposed to say that...!) I ran 3.5 km the other day on my treadmill and it felt AMAZING! I love running (am I trying to run from something?!). Then my sister came for a random visit...and my work-outs stopped and eating began. Gosh, I am so an emotional eater. HOWEVER, I was more controlled.


I am more in control of my eating because I am reading a FANTASTIC book. I have recommend it before, now I HIGHLY recommend it.

"Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth

I am reading it slowly, and doing some internal cleansing. I have to say, that it's like peeling an onion layer by layer. Years, and years of emotional baggage and stuff. The AHA moments are striking faster than I can read the words. More importantly, I have changed the way I view food, and the way I eat. It's very difficult to explain in words. But, I do know that I feel so FREE. I am so liberated, and by that I do not mean that I am gorging myself with food with a 'who cares attitude'. Not at all, it's like a huge grey cloud that has been hanging over me since I was 10 and realized I was chubby (thanks to my grandmother!) The grey cloud titled "DIET" is gone. When I eat, I have no guilt, and don't struggle. I ended a war with food, and all that is associated with it. Surprisingly, I am making great choices, drinking water and treating my body well. I appreciate my body more, and look at myself in a whole new light (aside from the rings incident...lol). It's like these chains that have been choking me for so many years are gone. I can breathe. I cannot emphasize enough about this book. There is something to it...and it's not a religious book at all. Nonetheless, run out and buy it!


You know there is something to be said for letting go. It is such a liberating feeling. Amazing things happen when you let go. I have found a new strength within me (along with a challenge/competition and a Starbucks win...with my friend C (who's a HUGE inspiration)! Part of that was also handing my rings over to be fitted. I am more than diamond rings that I wore when I lost 100 lbs, had to take them off when I gained it back and hoping to lose it again to re-wear them. So I let that go too (with a few tears...)


I hope you will treat yourself to the book, and experience the same enlightening growth that I am experiencing.



Be well (and go get the book!),

An Awakening Dream

Last night, I had a strange dream. In my dream, it was war time and I like many others who managed to escape, we found ourselves in hiding.
There were about fifty of us...all clustered on a cold damp floor in the basement of an old abandoned building. I had a young boy with me, and my understanding was that my husband was murdered.

There huddled on the floor, there was nothing for us to do but to sleep and pray that we not be discovered, or bombed. We were all lined up on clothes, old bed sheets, towels, boxes or anything we could manage to salvage with us during our getaway.

Many of us, found each other here...hoping it would be a safe haven. Mothers tried to quiet
their babies, elders sighed heavily...not a word spoken to each other. The air was thick, cold and damp. There was a smell that lingered amongst us, a scent I have never experienced in this lifetime, and hope to never endure. The stench of death seemed to follow us everywhere. Our lives hung in the balance between living like animals, and being killed like beasts. We weren't living, but merely surviving between each breath.

Even in my dreamlike state, I knew we were all desperate, dreaming of our lives long gone. Hoping to survive, or at least protect our loved one's from the fate that awaited us all. Planes flew low over head, children began to whimper, and we all knew our time was limited, there was no where to hide, and nobody to save us...an alarm rang.


As I brushed my hand over my alarm clock, I felt an immediate sense of gratitude...for it was only a dream. Here tucked in my king size bed with oversize duvet and high thread count sheets,the sun shown down me as I opened my eyes to another day of my life. In those few moments, I felt with all my being...that even though we sense gratitude...we do not fully know the fortune of our lives today.

The alarm rang, but today I did not feel despair at having to get out of bed. I felt happiness, that I can get up, make noise without fear of execution. I felt warm as my feet touched the warm floor beneath me, and not a cold, molded cement floor. I awoke my son, feeling happy that he can go to school and learn what he wants, and not what someone else dictates he should learn.
I then went down the stairs, opened the cupboards overloaded with healthy food, gratitude filled my heart, I have the means to feed my children so they can grow strong and healthy. I packed his lunch and felt fortunate to be able to make him such a delicious meal that he will enjoy in
the company of his friends and peers.
He came down for breakfast, and I smiled at him with a good morning, for in our world...it is.

I then poured myself a coffee...the woman in my dream could only imagine a morning such as this...taken away from her through violence, and oppression. As I sipped my coffee and looked around me, we truly have so much to be grateful for. A plane flew over my house, and I realized it was travelers moving along their day too.
We take our wonderful lives for granted. No matter how mundane our lives may seem, we live, we breathe, we eat, and we move,
we speak, we sing and we dance. We are free.

I reflected upon my dream a little more before the rest of my day would move on...my heart filled with mixed emotions. How lucky I am today to be where I am...

I hope to change the way I perceive myself, my life and my experiences. I have a chance to make life count...my weight, my past, my insecurities, the negative around me, other people's words, choices etc...it's all irrelevant. I have a glorious life...with a husband who loves me, handsome, healthy children, supportive friends and family, food, shelter etc...most importantly, unlike the woman in my dream...I have the opportunity to live it.

Today, I was awakened by a dream...and I can only feel true gratefulness!

My Relationship with Chocolate

Easter was four days ago. I've now eaten at least five 1 lb chocolate rabbits. I say at least because I didn't count. I've eaten and eaten chocolate like I was on a mission. I hate chocolate for what it has done to me...yet my mouth waters at the thought of it. I'm addicted.

Yesterday, as I pounded through another rabbit, my oldest Diodato looked at me and said: "Mom, stop eating the chocolate because tomorrow you are going to cry that you go to the gym for nothing, because you never lose weight anyhow. Look at yourself!" Aha!

He was right. I still finished more chocolate, because now I felt depressed, and defiant. When the sugar rush set in, and I couldn't eat anymore, I looked over the left over wrapper and thought to myself 'I love chocolate, but look what it has done to me...it doesn't love me back."

Then I felt sorry for myself.

• I can't wear my wedding rings because I'm fat.
• My boys have a fat mother.
• I have no swag because I'm fat.
• I'm always the girl with the pretty face because I'm fat.
• I can't wear nice clothes because I'm fat.
• I can't run the marathon I've dreamed of running because I'm fat.
• I'm fat, I'm fat, because I'm fat.

Chocolate made me fat and still I nourish it with every bite.

Really, it's the story of my life. I give everything I have...even to those who have wronged me.
Chocolate. I love it. My relationship with chocolate began at a very young age. Alone, most of the time growing-up, chocolate was my friend, it comforted me. It made me happy. It made me feel warm and loved.


I was always the girl with chocolate to share. Most of my friends hung around with me because I was the girl with the junk food. I didn't know better. Hey, if you didn't teach your kids about nutrition, what would they eat? Candy, chocolate, soda etc...was always at my disposal. Nobody to tell me enough was enough. Only my body when I would eat so much that it would make me sick.

My most vivid memory of my chocolate obsession was when my paternal grand-mother passed, I was 12 years old. I baked a chocolate cake for the after funeral luncheon. However, I ate it all by myself instead. Then I recall, my first break-up with Alan B., a boy I had fallen head over heels in love with in Grade 11, and my first real boyfriend. He was so handsome (and still is), and so kind. The break-up shook me, I felt abandoned. Chocolate comforted me...and my weight began to pile back on. In 2004, when my marital problems came to surface, I tried to fight it with Nutella, but it wasn't enough and chocolate once again won me over.

So it is, my relationship with chocolate helped me through some rough times. It created some even worse moments for me, because being overweight is hell.

I have now decided to give up my relationship with chocolate. I'm sick of looking at myself, and must realize that eating chocolate makes me feel worse, not better. I am so worth the two second moment of comfort it brings to me...so much more worth it!

I am breaking-up with chocolate!!!!

A Case of Facebook Mistaken Identity

I know I've blogged in the past about how I am a Facebook fraud. There are no full photos of me, only my face or photos of me hiding behind someone, and I must approve of ALL my tagged photos before hand. I've deleted, and un-tagged myself in at least a million photos, by now.

The other day, I posted the above photo as my profile photo. It is of my niece Jessica, who was embarking on a huge new chapter of her life. I wanted to send her some love, light and courage during the transition. Many thought it was me...

I got compliments on the photo "wow, you look gorgeous!", one of my long time friends from elementary school even went as far as calling another friend "Kim, lost a ton of weight? She looks smoking hot in that photo!". My friend then checked the photo, "impossible, I just seen her three weeks ago...must be an old photo of her". How embarrassing!!!!!

At first, I laughed it off...but then reality set in. I felt very ashamed, and realized that people see me...as FAT. How depressing!

Nevertheless, optimism quickly took over (thanks to my Hubby)...even though I'm big...I still am gorgeous and smoking hot! LOL

Who am I kidding?! I'm going to get there....I just have to.

Spontaneous Surprise

My hubby came home yesterday with a spontaneous surprise gift for me. It was random, I didn't expect that at all and it made my day, my week and my month. My husband is so good to me. I am so lucky!

He went on his own to Lululemon Athletica and bought me a lululemon hoodie. What is even more surprising, he normally loves me wearing blue (his favourite colour), but opted to buy me a pink one just because he knew I would love it.

Moreover, I was just there the other day to purchase myself a new gym bag (love the new totes!), some yoga pants and a few tops. He felt I could use a hoodie to go along with it all, so he secretly went out yesterday to purchase me one...just because.

I love my hoodie, I love it more because he made the effort to go buy it for me, and picked it out himself. Thank you, Tony! MWAHHHHHHH!!!!

Spring Equinox

First off, I need to send my fellow blogger Joania a huge cyber hug.

Joania, you have been in my thoughts and my prayers. I miss your blogs, your motivation and your inspiration. Whatever you are going through, I honour you, and I send you much love and light. Remember you are strong and beautiful inside and out!

Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere,

Autumn Equinox in the southern hemisphere

Spring has sprung in and around me! Welcome to the first day of spring, spring equinox in the northern hemisphere. Spring, a time for rejuvenation and new beginnings. I love the promise, and glory of the spring. The melting of the snow with the warming of the sun, the first blades of green grass, the return of the geese, and the sighting of the first robin always brings warmth to my heart and a renewed sense of powerful energy.

I have been busy reading, and reading. I find it quite ironic how my 'weight' loss journey has evolved. I really have been focusing on eating well, and clean. With it, comes a great relief, and sense of over all well being. However, I will let you know that not much has changed on the scale front (blah!). Nonetheless, I look in the mirror and I do see an honest changes in my skin, my eyes and overall in my energy.

What am I doing? I am making sure to eat as much organic as I can. I am also sticking to real food (see my book recommendation below: Food Rules). In addition, I am buying grain fed, and free range meat. However, I have yet to find beef in my area that fit that criteria. Nonetheless, little changes surely add up and I can attest to a difference. I am not perfect by any means, and have the occasional slip here and there. Note, the great movie popcorn with a dash of cadbury eggs on top. A wonderful treat taught by a dear old friend of mine (A. I miss you! xox).

I have been working out, mostly cardio and must get back into a strong routine of weight training too. Being a busy mom, it's difficult to get it all in, so I really focus on doing what I can. My goal for the weeks ahead is to prioritize my time, and I'm seriously thinking of closing my facebook account. I spend way to much time on there. Maybe I will take some advice from my friend Jack Bauer, and go dark.

Also, I am enjoying my Friday night Yoga sessions. I have found an amazing Hatha Yoga instructor. Friday night yoga is gentle, calming and so invigorating. Perfect for the end of the week!

Lastly, here are the books I have been reading.

• Food Rules by Michael Pollan
• In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan

Mr. Pollan was on Oprah recently, and opened my eyes to Real Food and what is in our 'food'. I have yet to watch the movie "Food Inc." recommended by the author. It is on my to do list.

One thing that struck me the most was the realization that our grandmothers and grandfathers used to eat butter, drink plenty of milk, even cream, eat bread, meat and potatoes, they had sugar, and they didn't know about fats, carbs, etc... and astonishingly obesity was rare. Why is this? The simple answer; the food was real.

I am also reading:

• Change Your Brain Change Your Body by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.

All I can say is Wow!

I have also started reading the anti-diet book that Oprah wants everyone to read.

• Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth

I have to say, that I am slowly reading this book as light bulbs are going off, and I'm having to really reflect on almost every page.

“It's never been about the weight. It's not even about food.”
— Geneen Roth

Be well and try to eat as much 'real' food as you can,

I'm still around...

Hey everyone!

I know, it's been awhile. Sorry. I think I was suffering from 'writer's block' and had nothing to say. Yep, I had nothing to say or share. Me?!

Anyhow, before I share some great new discovery of mine...I'll update you on my happenings. I've been staying true to myself, working-out and eating well. Woohoo (ala Vicky from OC housewives!)

So I've made a great discovery, and you know me; I love to share with the world. I'm always the first to run to the bookstore and buy the latest new book. However, if for once you are going to follow my advice; this is the book for you. Unless, you don't have a brain!

The book is by Dr. Daniel Amen entitled "Change Your Brain Change Your Body". It's not all about weight loss. It's for anyone who has a brain! (LOL...I love that line!). The premise is that our brain is truly our control center. If you take care of your brain, your brain will take care of you. For example, beautiful body, no disease, no early aging, no anxiety, no depression, perfect weight etc...It is such common sense when you begin to read it, however so ingenious! The guy is all about mind/body connection. I'm so into this book that I'm already looking to purchase his other books, especially the one's for children and teenagers.

Here is the link to his site:
http://www.amenclinics.com/

Be well!
Kimmy

Olympic Fever...

Whew! All this Olympic fever has me soooooooo proud to be Canadian. All these late nights, have me staying up late too. I love sharing these moments with my kids.

My favourite moment thus far has been Alexandre Bilodeau's golden win for Canada. We watched all together as a family, and I turned to my boys and said: "you are watching history here, remember where you were when this happened!" :> As I cheer for our athletes, I love to cheer loudly and clap along. Apparently, I should know that they can't hear me, and I'm not really there!? Ummm...who cares! It's the Olympics kids!!!!

So aside from that...I am still on track and working-out. I've also planned to scratch something off my 'bucket' list. Come spring time, I'm going to sign up and start learning to run a 5k (apparently there's a whole method to this). I went to Lululemon (because that's how funny/crazy I am, and I love it!), and bought myself a few things I will need to begin my running journey :>. I feel silly, but EXCITED!

My good friend (I'll call her C-Bu :>), already did this 'course' on 5 k and highly recommends it. Then she added, I'd love to do it again because you forget how to run...so we are in! (YIKES!). I'm surely looking to run the Run for the Cure in October, but also there is a run in June for woman's cancers. Perhaps, I'll be ready for that. For now, I'm kind of 'training' on my treadmill. I know, I know...it's not the same. However, if I can build myself up there cardio wise, when I do start 'running' outdoors...I won't look like the fat girl in a rush to get some more chocolate!

Have a good week-end everyone. I know I will...it's my birthday week-end!!!!

P.S.
Go Canada Go!!!

Vancouver 2010!!!

Love this song...resonates within all of us!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmURDjt7Ex8

A Little Update

I just wanted to update you on my journey.

I have been a very good girl! lol I've made the effort to train, do cardio and do yoga. It feels great to get some alone, me time! I have no excuses...zero.

My only complaint was that yesterday, I got a nail in my tire and had to take a pause. I was set to do my core circuit training, I love the Monday class because it really instills a tone for the week, however things don't always pan out that way...and frustration sets in quickly with me. I had a last minute meeting to attend with Carmelo's french teacher. In addition, the core class time got moved up a half hour, so there was no hope for me.

Sometimes, these tests really 'test' us. I came home after the meeting, when it really sunk that I wouldn't make the session, I was frustrated and angry. In fact, I went to bed angry...and I tossed and turned until about 3 a.m. At that point, I realized that being a busy mom and wife means that I won't always be able to follow my 'planned' schedule. What I need to do is to go with the flow, and promise myself that come the next day, I brush myself off and keep on my journey. I guess I'm so afraid that if I miss ONE day it means I've fallen off the wagon completely, and I don't want to go there ANYMORE!

I've also done some emotional, internal cleansing. That feels wonderful and so enlightening. As for now, I've realized that some things, and some people (especially the one's who purposely are negative, and hurtful), they don't matter. I must choose to refuse to engage in their "games" or choices. I am truly sensitive, and consider myself highly intuitive. I understand situations, people and such on a different level that I cannot always explain into words. However, it wears on me emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. In turn, it shows on my body. I'm slowly realizing that I must focus on those who love and support me, everything else is just not worth the energy!

I'm moving on...and growing, hopefully as I shrink!

Have a great Tuesday!
Kimmy

Presenting our eight year old son Carmelo in his first violin recital. He's been playing about a year now, and has come a long way. The violin is an extremely difficult instrument to play. We are so very proud of him, that we just had to share!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RrMJ-yqHSU

My newest AHA moment....



Only one thing separates fat or fit and that is the letter

• I am strong


• I am worthy


• I am loved


• I am beautiful


• I am deserving


• I am valued


• I am healthy


• I am blessed


• I am


• I can


• I will

F.I.T!

The Power of Change!

Who am I? Is the question that comes to mind as I sit here. What purpose does this transformation serve? What is the benefit? Well, I can tell you that who I am now is not who I was 3 years ago or even last year. Along with the world changing, so am I. Looking deep within me has prompted a lot of change in and around me and is becoming more and more apparent. The life that I used to lead was not bad, just empty. There was no purpose, besides the normal things of being a wonderful wife and loving mother. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love and adore those jobs, but what was it that I wanted to do, what was my destiny? How can I serve and help people enrich their lives? And in turn, that is what would provide the enrichment that I needed on this earth.
Change is not bad or optional, it just is. Staying stagnant will not provide the growth internally and externally. As the saying goes, you should not go by the same philosophies at 40 as you did at 20. There is so much more to life than that. On this self-development path, there have been ups and downs as new thought patterns emerged and different perspectives and outlooks showed themselves. I can attain that not everyone will understand what is going on. Conquering change and letting it flow into your life has such a positive impact. Getting past the "old" story and letting go of what is not aligning with my purpose and passion, changing my mindset to grab a hold of all the knowledge available to increase my self-worth, competency and to know that I am deserving of a full life, is a process, but it was and is one that inspires and contributes to letting old habits, beliefs and patterns that serve no more purpose to fall away.
When I ponder the questions that I asked at the beginning, as to who am I?...the answer to that is a person of growth and change. A person who accepts life and all its excitement and challenges. What is the purpose and benefit of this transformation? More than you can imagine... Having a life of purpose, being able to grow and change and feel true inspiration, happiness and passion. That is what makes this journey worthwhile.
Change is not something to be feared. It is a beautiful experience and it will happen. Scary at times, but with being able to push past that fear that everything must remain the same, and to set out on a journey of your own self discovery can be threatening to some. By thinking of yourself, you set it in motion that you are worth finding and exploring. Finding the "thing(s)" that gets you motivated to do what you do and to have the positive focus on your life and benefit to others, not only gives you a more fulfilled life but strengthens you as a whole. The people around you will need to love you for you and accept all the good that has transpired within and around you. Mapping out the life that you desire and taking all the necessary steps helps you take action and responsibility for you. Only you can make those changes, nobody else.
What are you doing to change your life? Are you living the authentic, passion-filled, happy life that you've imagined you'd have? What is holding you back? What step can you do today to head in the direction of your goals and dreams? Take back your power and reclaim your life!

~~~~~~Find YOUR Answers....................................
..........................................................Achieve Balance.............

Reclaim YOUR Life!~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cheers,
Tania Boutin

Reclaim Your Life Coach & Motivational Teacherwww.transformation-coaching.com

No Excuses...Really!

I've been working my butt-off, well not really because apparently: it's still there!

The past two weeks, I have had no excuses to work-out. Really! My father-in-law had a full-time Nanny living with him, to help with his recovery from him massive coronary. Every winter, he ventures off to Florida. He has been doing so for the last fifteen years. To change that...would be devastating. However, being as the young woman had only been in Canada for less than a year, her visa application to visit the U.S. was denied. My father-in-law chose to leave anyway.

So for the first month, she stayed with my brother-in-law's family. Last week, she came to our house. At first, I will admit...I wasn't crazy about the whole idea. I'm the type of person who loves, LOVES her time alone. I spent most of my childhood growing-up alone, so that is a way of life for me. Besides, my home is already always coming and going with people. So I cherish the quiet time.

They say "blessings come in all sorts of disguises". I have to say that I was very wrong and 'crazy'. I mean, who wouldn't want a Nanny in their home, helping them?! With someone POWER CLEANING my home, and mending to my children (however, that task I still do mostly myself), I really had no excuses. I decided that if there was ever a time to get back in a routine of working-out...now was it. If I couldn't motivate myself to train, exercise now...I never will.

In addition, I read an article by Oprah (love her wisdom) that truly resonated with me. Oprah was talking about her goals to herself last year, to work-out more and eat better. She affirms that she 'hates' working-out. Who doesn't? Anyhow, she realized that by calling it "working-out", it was actually putting a negative twist to exercise. She has now changed the way she views 'working-out' by calling it: "honoring her body". So true!

I'm happy to report that I've stayed true to myself. I've trained and honoured my body a lot these past two weeks. I've even ran on the treadmill in the morning instead of going back to bed! The result? I feel amazing....again! I've lost three (3) pounds.
I'm counting down to my goal: February 22.

The universe has offered me a gift, that I really can't pass up and must take full advantage of.

I'm off to honour my body and myself...

Have a great day everyone!
xox

Kimmy

Beautiful Blogger

So much to catch-up on, I hope I don't bore you blabbing. More importantly, this all seems so mundane knowing what is happening in Haiti. Nonetheless, I feel like I have abandoned my blogging. I wanted to come back, and let you know how everything is going.




First off, I had another taste of "I'm overweight...great what will they think?" reality. I hate this! A few months ago, I re-connected via facebook (Love that!) with an old highschool friend. Hopefully, he is NOT reading my blog...


Anyhow, I had a crush on him in highschool, but I stayed away because he had started hanging around with the wrong crowd. He was always such a great guy...a real sweetheart. I had high morale expectations for myself back then...and the crowd he was hanging out with, without being to judgemental was not the direction I wished my life to go in...lol (yeah...then I ended up with an italian ;>)


Fast forward 18 years (yikes), this guy is still handsome (hot) as ever, and seems to have really straightened out his life. So proud of him! I mean, if you really knew where we came from, and how life can be quite difficult at times, you'd understand. Sometimes, when I look back at photos (via facebook) or actually go back home, I find people haven't changed. They still do what they did 20 years ago. I don't know if it's like that for everyone else, but in our small town...it is. I don't want to judge, and it's really hard not to, however there is more to life than sitting in a garage, getting stoned and drunk every night. Seriously, the only long lasting business that has stood the test of time: The Beer Store and LCBO. That is sad.


To see this guy, leave the north and COMPLETELY change his life and be VERY successful with it, is amazing. We've chatted via facebook and facebook messenger. It is really great to re-connect like that. So, he sent me a message saying he was coming to Ottawa for a quick trip and maybe we could connect. PANIC!


I have posted a few pictures of myself on facebook...but nothing could prepare anyone. The last time this guy saw me...I was thin, young and cute (:. Now, the way I see myself...besides cute, funny and nice...is not good. The torture we put ourselves through...eh?! I can't believe it. Anyone, who has been or is overweight will understand this.


However, it goes way deeper than seeing an old handsome friend again after 15+ years. It's more the fact, that my body is not aligned with the true me that resides inside. At this point, it's not easy to say: "here I am...a little fluffier than you remember!" I've missed so many opportunities, events, vacations etc...because of my size and weight. I have come to realize that it's time to stop writing about it, and start taking action! I need to be the change I know I am inside. Somehow, someway we all have to, just in our own different way. For me, I can get so frustrated, and emotional about it all...and it is easy to go back to the old Kimmy, the one who is the emotional eater. Therefore, I wondered if I was doing this all for nothing...


Then I came on my blog to write about, and saw that I received "The Beautiful Blogger award"! Wow!!! I was blown away. Thank you Kimberley. What perfect timing. I must continue my journey, not give-up or give in. I need to be happy with myself, and continue to improve on who I am on the outside as well as the inside. It is something we all look to achieve. In addition, maybe my friend was right when she said that...an old friend will always see the true Kimmy...beautiful and sweet always. Beautiful blogger award...so grateful!


This incidence just made me want to work harder than ever. This year is a big year event wise...

1. A high school reunion
   


2. My 10 yr wedding anniversary
   

I vow to myself that I won't be hiding, running away from these events...it is up to me not to let myself down again!

"When it comes to matters of the heart, people get better with age. As you grow and become truly happy with who you are, you can then be happy with those around you." - Rachel Roy, as read in the Oprah Magazine (February, 2010)

I'm thrilled to have received this 'Beautiful Blogger' award, I now have to list seven other Beautiful Bloggers and list seven facts about myself that you don't already know. Then I am to pass it on to seven other Beautiful Bloggers.

7 Facts About Myself That You Don't Already Know

1. 
   
   
   Growing-up, I was a huge fan of Wayne Gretzky #99. I loved how he was so great at hockey, he was genuine and had integrity. I cried the day he got married! (lol)



2. 
   
   
   I am intuitive/ psychic (my close friends know this...as over the years my predictions for them have come true). Sometimes, I will have a vision, a dream or hear something in my head/heart...and it comes true.



3. 
   
   
   I can read people's energy and aura's. I don't see aura, I feel it...it's very strange to explain.


4. 
   
   I was my graduating highschool valedictorian.


5. 
   
   I love to sing, however I am horrible (and I know it, but a happy heart sings no matter what! :>)


6. 
   
   I love to read.


7. I have a huge celebrity crush on Kiefer Sutherland (Jack Bauer 24).
   

To the beautiful bloggers, I pass the award onto: Stefania, Tania, Joania, Susan, Sandy, Denise and Counting Girl. However, if I could pass it on to everyone who's blogs I have read...I would. I would also pass it on to all my fellow reader's who follow my crazy tales!

Sending my prayers, love, light and a zillion angels to the people of Haiti.

We are all one. When someone hurts, we all hurt. Let us get through this together.

I'm BAAAAAAAAAACK!

It's a whole new year, a time to re-discover ourselves, out with the old, in with the new...

Like everyone else, the holidays are an extremely busy time, and we set ourselves aside, and go with the flow. After two weeks, of guests, entertaining, eating, eating and more eating, Tony and I set January 4 as our 'back on track' date.

Come the end of the year, we both realized we had been starting to feel like 'crap' again. All this eating, and drinking had caught up to us. I noticed that I wasn't sleeping well, and my body was achy all day. In addition, I had no energy and had cravings all day long. Tony noticed that his persistent back problem was ten fold, and that he was more irritable. We both looked forward to eating well, and working-out again. Date set: Monday, January 4.

I woke-up Monday morning feeling awful. I was running a fever, had a headache and a soar throat. I noticed that this was my first 'sick' day in a long time...probably since I started eating better. Obviously, the holiday's had finally caught up to me. "Great, why does my body insist on sabotaging me?"

As though it had heard me a little voice inside me replied: "your body tried it's best to sustain you through all of the craziness that has been around you, on top of that...you have nourished it with nothing 'good', you haven't worked-out, you haven't hydrated your body...what do you expect?!"

Very true! However, there is always more than meets the eye. Today, my sister was expected to arrive. Starting to eat better, train etc...with her around is a challenge to say the least. No disrespect to her at all, and I love her very much. But, this is the woman who once sat on a couch watching me run on the treadmill while she ate a bag of chips, drank a soda and said: "wtf do you do that shit for?!" Another time she came down to watch me work-out and actually fell asleep! She may be a good cook and all that...but healthy lifestyle she ain't! She hardly ever eats her cooking (ummm...) and loves to eat 'junk'. So trying to eat healthy with her around just adds to the stress of being sick, getting back to routine and all that. Still such is life, and in times like that I have learned that survival is best. Just getting through it all and doing the best you can sometimes means success.

In she came like a hurricane with her chips, her cheesies, her chocolate bars, her Pepsi, her butter shortbread cookies, her homemade perogies, chicken pot pies, meat pies and cakes! Yiiiiiiiiiiiiikes!

Nonetheless, I wasn't going to let it get the best of me. Even though my fever was wearing me down, I still attended my core circuit training session. I must admit that it felt pretty great to get back on track again. I wanted so much to get back on track this week...

Unfortunately, the rest of the week was a void. By Tuesday, my body was beat and the cold had overtaken me. I decided to try my best to eat well, avoid the junk food and start back strong Monday. Per contra, I did cave a little, I had some delicious perogies ( I mean you can't pass those up!), and a shortbread cookie or two. But, I was controlled and didn't go overboard like I would of in the past under the influence of my sister.

My body is now relieved of temptations as my sister has now gone back home, and the house is back to normal. I know with Tony and myself: we CANNOT have any 'junk' food in the house. If it's here, we'll eat it. So out with that too. Furthermore, we watched the season premiere of "The Biggest Loser" (great way to be inspired), and both decided that our healthy journeys' must continue.

I weighed myself this morning, and my body has been good to me. I have gained maybe (give or take) 3lbs or so. I am at 210 lbs. Honestly, I'm happy with that. I didn't gain the usual 7 lbs that most gain over the holidays. So I must look on the bright side to all this. I had a wonderful holiday season, I enjoyed myself immensly, even my visit with my sister, but now it's time to get down to business.



What better way to get on track, but to set a goal. This year promises to be an exciting year. My 37th birthday is around the corner. I love, love my birthday (hey, if I don't like my birthday than who will?! :>). What better gift to give myself than the gift of health! My birthday is February 22nd, so I have six weeks to get to my goal of 199lbs. That is six weeks to lose 11 lbs. I'm going to work hard and do it! No excuses...I'm starting year 37 in the 100 club!



Now hopefully...my sister won't be coming to visit anytime soon, and I'll be all set!



Set your short term goal and get to it...out with the old and in with the new!

Kimmy

Living From Gratitude

You hear it all the time; "Gratitude is powerful!" Have you ever wondered just HOW powerful?

When it comes to the Law of Attraction, gratitude creates a super-charged boost of energy that attracts all wonderful things into your life. You've probably heard that before. But why is it so powerful? One reason is because you're focusing on the positive, so you automatically attract more positive experiences into your life - you've probably heard that before too.

But what you may not know is what happens ENERGETICALLY when you're focusing on gratitude. Remember that the Law of Attraction is activated according to your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and expectations. Whatever you think, feel, believe and expect is what you'll get.

What does this have to do with gratitude? To answer that question, consider what you are thinking, feeling, believing and expecting when you feel grateful and appreciative.

- You feel blessed.

- You feel abundant.

- You feel happy.

- You feel content.

- You feel secure.

- You feel like all is right in your world.

And when you focus on these types of feelings, you are sending a strong message to the universe that all of these things are TRUE. And you know what the universe says? "You're absolutely right! Here's your wealth. Here's some more joy. Here's some more good stuff - thanks for asking for it, I've been trying to send it to you but you wouldn't let it in!"

I've long believed in the power of gratitude, but it didn't fully come clear to me until recently when I set an intention to "Live From Gratitude" for an entire day. "Living From Gratitude" meant that I would give sincere thanks for everything I experienced, saw, felt, heard or did that day. Let me tell you, that's a LOT of gratitude! :-)

I must have said "thank you" thousands of times that day. The moment I opened my eyes that morning, I began giving thanks for everything in my life. I called to mind my friends and family, my job, my home, my health - even my cats. And I gave thanks for them. Not just "surface thanks," but deep, heartfelt gratitude.

As I went about my normal daily activities, I thanked the universe for everything I touched or experienced. As I washed the dishes, I said, "Thank you for these dishes to hold the food we eat, and thank you for the food we eat! Thank you for this silverware - it was a wedding gift to my husband and I; and thank you for my wonderful husband!"

The whole time I worked at my job I said over and over, "Thank you for my work and the way it fulfills me. Thank you for the opportunity to earn money doing something I love. Thank you for the ways my work challenges me and reminds me that I'm stronger than I often think I am."

As I moved through my day, I gave thanks for my feet as I walked, for my lungs as I breathed, for my eyes as I looked at the world around me, and I gave thanks for every person I encountered - and more!

A lot of great things happened as a result of that one day of Living From Gratitude - too many to list here. Overall, I'd have to say that true miracles happened. My income for that day ended up being TRIPLE what it normally is. I received a couple of fantastic opportunities that I've begun working on, and good things happened everywhere I went. But that outer stuff is just the icing on the cake.

The TRUE GIFT of that day is the way I felt. Everything suddenly seemed so SACRED. Everything in my life was good. I was good. I was happy. I was at peace. I wasn't stuck or struggling or fearful or frustrated.

My heart and mind were lifted to a place that few people get to experience. It was a deeply moving, spiritual experience on all levels.

I have NEVER experienced a day more POWER-FULL as that one! In fact, it was so powerful that I've since adopted it as an ongoing intention every day. And yes, every day becomes more magical than the one before!

If you've never given gratitude a fair chance or if you've been lukewarm in your application of it, try "Living From Gratitude" for one day. Just one day. Give thanks for everything you see, feel, hear, do and experience. It will blow your mind! :-)

As a side note, this same process can be used on things that you don't yet have, but want to attract! For example, if you're trying to attract a better job, spend the whole day saying, "Thank you so much for my wonderful new job! It pays so well and I get to do work I truly LOVE, and I am so thankful for that!" Don't just say the words; really focus on FEELING the feelings of gratitude and appreciation. The words mean nothing without the feelings.

FEEL IT AND YOU'LL "BE" IT! :-)

Many Blessings, Tania Boutin

Certified Life Transformation Coach & Motivational Teacher

Transformational Coaching with Tania http://www.transformation-coaching.com/

VISIT NOW TO RECEIVE "2" F*REE EBOOKS!

Source: www.mindfulattraction.com