The other night at my son's soccer game, I had another HUGE dose of teenager reality. Seems, I'm not just imagining it; I really am in uncharted waters. Which isn't so bad, considering everything my hubby is right off into the ocean drifting absolutely nowhere!
It all began, when Diodato my thirteen year old son's soccer game was schedule at a park close to our home. Instead of driving him to his practice, he decided to walk. A bit unusual for him. I told him, we'd meet him there game time.
Naturally, we just made it in time for kick-off. Diodato stopped on the field and waved. More unusual I thought. So I waved back and thought "oh, cute." Then from behind me reality struck: "Go Dio Go!". The voice of a young girl cheering on my son, rang through my heart like a sword. Second guessing what I heard, I turned to see her sitting on the rock right beside me. He wasn't waving to me. Was I mad? He was waving to HER! Who is that I thought? Hopefully, she was at the game to cheer on her brother!
As the game went on, I kept a close eye on 'soccer fan' as I dubbed her. As soon as I was distracted by Antonio (my three year old), she made her move and disappeared. Good! Not so good, there was 'soccer fan' sitting with Diodato across the field. Ummm...
At the end of the game, we all went to meet Diodato, the team and coaches. The boys always get a Popsicle or freezes to cool them off after their hard game. I had to blink twice, as there was 'soccer fan' sucking on a Popsicle. Before, I could process another thought she blurted in a seductive tone "thanks for the Popsicle Dio!" Okay! EWWWWW...my blood pressure shot up then all my red flags went up. Let's get home!
Driving home, I realized a few things. My son was surely a teenager now. It was no longer 'cute' to have a girl cheer him on. "Soccer fan" had more make-up on then Tina Fey-Baker. She was showing more cleavage than a playboy spread! She was certainly not a girl looking to watch a soccer game. But, I had to be careful with my words, my attitude and my advice. There is a fine line with this teenage stuff. Even though this is all new to me, that much I realize. Moreover, my son is way to young to be dating. My standards may be high for today's day and age. But, I strongly believe that most parents are to lax with their kids. Boundaries, rules and ethics need to be respected especially in the teenage years. To a point of course. As I said before there is a fine line, it must be walked on very carefully. One wrong move and everything can crumble.
I realized I had to investigate 'soccer fan' before I discussed it further with my son. Education, and information is power and I needed all the help I could muster. So I casually asked him: "what is your soccer fan's name?". As soon as I could get away, I jotted down 'soccer fan's' name. Facebook would be my first source of information.
I'm proud to be a facebook 'creeper'. It's times like these that I love the fact that facebook exists. I keep an eye on all my son's computer activity including facebook. I am a strong advocate of this. People may think that they are violating their child's right to privacy. I say to them; "when your child is an adult and capable of making rash, mature decisions...then by all means let them have their privacy." If you are still against me, check out some facebook profiles and look at the 'crap' some kids put out there. Case in point, 'soccer fan'. First, the good news, 'soccer fan' is single, and not dating my son! However, she definitely needs some form of guidance, and her parents do not monitor her facebook account. I almost had a coronary at the content, and the photos displayed for public viewing. No such thing as sexual innuendo's or hint of sexual behaviour. Photos are proof this girl is out there, and proud of it.
These kids today! They not only know more than we did at that age, they do it to. Moreover, they advertise it more than porn! Unbelievable! Where are the parents in all of this? Now, here comes the part about my clueless hubby. When I shockingly proceeded to tell him the facts of the photos I saw, he chuckled, smile a dirty grin and said; "wow, she's talented!" Excuse me, may I remind you that these are 13 year olds we are talking about? I wouldn't even accept that behaviour from a 20 year old!
Obviously, my hubby took a different ship on this issue. Well, I think he missed the boat altogether! Nevertheless, I was paddling alone, and I am determined to guide my son through these stages. What to do and how to go about it? I decided to be somewhat honest and just ask him about 'soccer fan'. Seems that she has a 'crush' on him, but he's not ready for a girlfriend. Which I agreed with him, and told him; 'thirteen is way to young to be dealing with girls like that. I know she's a little on the wild side (little! give me a break I'm thinking she's wilder than the playboy penthouse on orgy night!), and you are a good kid. In order, to maintain my trust, you always need to be honest with me. Oh, and it's my duty to check-up on you! So no secrets." He replied, that he knows she's 'wild' and that they are just friends. I accepted his reply. However, note to self to keep a better eye on him!
It's my job and duty to protect him and guide him. It's no laughing matter that kids of today think sex is a game. I'm not anti-sex by any means (LOL). What I'm trying to say is these kids are still kids, and need to be guided as so. I'm not the perfect mother, and nor do I have perfect children. But, boyfriends and girlfriends must be age appropriate. There is a reason for it! I was still playing dolls at twelve! These girls are giving oral sex at school at twelve and taking photos of themselves doing it! Something is seriously wrong with this. These kids behave that way, because we let them. It's up to us the parents to step in and say; 'hey, that's wrong.' Let kids stay kids. There is a time and a place for such things. These kids have gotten completely out of hand. However, as a mom, I can only take care of my own. So if that means, I have to pry, spy and lie, I will. Besides, if my kid is hiding something, it can only mean one thing, it's not appropriate and as a parent I have the obligation to steer him in the right direction until he is mature enough to know better. As for 'soccer fan', she won't be having dinner at my place anytime soon!
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