A Crazy House...but a Victory!

The fireworks are in celebration that I went back to the gym! I did it! I made it! (well, if you don't throw yourself fireworks...who will? LOL!!! ) I survived!

It wasn't all that bad. Firstly, after not going Friday, I awoke and thought out loud: "today I'm going to the gym. No excuses!" I had one window of opportunity to go and I took it. My house was left in a mess, total chaos. There is nothing I despise more than leaving my house in a messy state. Oh well! Life still goes on!

So I drove up to the gym with many emotions. My palms got sweaty, and my heart was beating so fast, my breaths could hardly keep up. A tear rolled down my cheek and a little voice piped up and said: "Kim, you know what you have to do...it's time...this is your time! Just do it!!!" It's a fat person thingy, no other way to explain it. I used to own the gym, now I'm a stranger again. (...read my November 21, 2008 blog for background). I know it's time to get back the control and that means being brave.

So with a deep breath I approached the gym. (...I know it sounds very dramatic, but it is what it is. I promised myself my blog would always be true to me, raw and honest. If you can't be honest and truthful then what is the point?!). So I'm approaching the gym, I'm nervous, my hands are shaking and my head is down. Suddenly, I hear: "there you go Miss...". I look-up and "Bob" and "Bill" Bodybuilder have both doors wide open for me. Okay! If that's not a sign from the universe, I don't know what is!!!! "Thank you!", I was so busy checking-out their huge muscles, I didn't even noticed I had walked-in the gym! :>

I timidly walked-in as the smell of the gym filled my lungs. I took another deep breath, how I've missed this smell and the surroundings. There is nothing more motivating than being in the gym. The energy, the attitude...it's so contagious.

One more bump in the journey was awaiting me. Once in the locker room, I approached my corner as my cell phone began to ring. Thinking it was my kids, I immediately answered. It was my sister-in-law whom I love to chit chat with. However, no time could be wasted as this was my window to do this. To boot, rude 'skinny gym biatch' piped in:"...STOP TALKING ON YOUR CELLPHONE!... do you know how rude that is! BESIIIIIIDES it's not allowed in the change room...there's a POLICY!!!!...blah blah blah........" I kept talking for five more minutes in defiance while thinking "lady you have no clue what this moment is to me, and you are not going to take it away from me, I'm back at the gym, it's taken a lot to get me in here and it's not your time to take away my victory from me...and geesh! speaking of 'policies'...there must be a rule about naked woman parading in the change room barking 'policies' to other patrons?" LMAO!!!!

In the end, I had an amazing work-out. My house has been a crazy house lately, with the rain and the construction in our backyard, my kids have no where to play. The phone is constantly ringing, someones always at the door etc...In reflection, I realized that's life. We must appreciate our time together. We must appreciate it the way it is. There will never be a perfect time for an unexpected visit or phone call. My house will still be 'messy' when I come home (and for the record...I power cleaned and it's back to normal! :>) Nonetheless, I have to set aside this time for me. It's imperative. I've so missed it. My body, heart and soul yearn it. This time is well deserved! I Left the gym victorious and motivated to continue the journey ahead!