Training

Yesterday, I went to work-out with my trainer. Seems he's turned up the heat a notch!Very tough! I'm so out of shape! So he takes us to the 'exercise room'. The thought of the room sends shivers down my spine.First we climb up the step 10 times on one side, 10 times on another. Seems easy, but my heart already is racing after the first side.Then, it's side to side 10 times. Right after; Rockclimbers!!!! "Let's get that heart rate up!" he says. (Damn does he know what I had to do before I even got here? Run around get the two year old organized for nap, tidy up from lunch, make three beds, then hubby decides to make a pasta sauce, run around ten minutes before I'm set to leave for the gym getting him all his ingredients and tools. Pick-up my six year old from the bus. Run in trying to pay attention as he recounts his day at school. Dig to find my gym clothes, grab my bag and attempt to run out the door. Only to hear: MOM....do you know... but I'm here...barely on time...sweating and heart pounding already!!!!)Okay...so Rockclimbers it is!This exercise that has you doing low lunges hanging on to the step! Twenty of those without missing a beat! When I'm done, my heart is beating out of my chest, I can't breathe and I'm soaking wet from sweating. I'm trying to catch my breath, focus and see straight. I hear: "Start over! Step up! Go!" (I'm thinking effen! I'm going to die here and you want me to do another set?) But I do it...because I have to! "I'm fat!" I think to myself! "come on fatty, show him you can do it" " I hate being fat!" as I feel all my fat jiggling as I struggle, I push forward one step, two; I try to breath in, breathe out. My face is flushed. Just when I think I'm going to pass out... I'm done! I take a drink of water and I want to crash! Now my heart is really going to pop out of my chest! It hurts!!!My trainer looks at me and says "are you alright?" I look at him, I can't speak....but my body language says "do I effen look alright to you?!" hahaha!!!I guess I do because we are now running side to side around the room. EFF!!! I am so out of shape. I want to kill at this point! Why did I come here? I see my reflection in the mirror and I want to burst out crying! This fat thing running around the room, is not ME!So another set it is...up down. Apparently it's the last one, and I can do it, stay strong, push push push...his voice is distant and I don't want to even hear him! Finally, I'm done! I'm so proud of myself. I have many many thoughts. I want to get in shape. I want to be fit. Suddenly I hear a voice from deep within;"getting in shape takes time, athletes do this EVERYDAY. They don't just wake up fit and 'in shape'. It takes hard work, dedication and perseverance. One day at a time, one day, one step. In a few weeks, this will be easy for you. You have to build up momentum, you cannot baby your body. Work, push and stay strong. It will pay off!"So I move forward to the weight training session, a breeze compared to that damn room! Afterwards, I gathered strength to do 30 minutes of cardio. I then treated myself to a tanning session. I left the gym today...feeling good about myself. I'm taking charge...and I can do it. Until Friday that is; and we open the door to that damn room!!!!