Today, I stepped on the scale; what a mistake. Two pounds UP!
Damn is that thing stuck or what?
I'm so frustrated. I don't know what it will take to get this weight off. I bust my butt off at the gym.
I went out with the girls, and had a few drinks, ate without thinking. I can't even let loose for one day!!!ARGH!
This weight thing is so hard on days like this. I realize I must put more effort into things, but it feels like I'm damned for the rest of my life.
I can't even write, I'm not inspired right now. I feel so frustrated, sad and confused. My body loves the fat...it's like those damn little fat cells reproduce faster than rabbits!
Anyhow, because I'm such a optimistic person (sometimes, it's not good..and I just want to shut that voice down! lol), I will do yoga today in hopes of loosening things up and gaining a better perspective. I'm going to write down EVERY morsel I eat. I will drink ten glasses of water at least. While in meditation after yoga, I will do some extensive powerful visualization techniques on those fat cells; seeing them disappear and flushed from my body. I will see myself thinner, and healthier.
If things work out for me this week and I can get this weight train moving again; I promise myself a wonderful pedicure and manicure at the spa!!!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Important feedback...
So the other day I sent my blog to someone to proof read it and this is what I got back in return:
(apparently I shouldn't be calling myself: fatty or fat)
"Since I started reading The Secret and a message from Kryon, I realized that my own thinking and visualizing me as fat, as made me worst. So now, I try to think, feel and see myself and what it would be like to be the shape I want and deserve. It's not easy to keep that picture and thoughts with what I'm going through, but I noticed that my body is starting to shape up. Plus, I'm talking to my cells. Apparently, as per Kryon, if you take charge and tell them what you want they will start to listen and follow directions. We gave them free rains all our lives. It will take time to get the control back but when I talk to them, as a whole, I can see them stop and listen, some try to sneak out and ignore me but I can also see it and tell them to pay attention. It's so funny and weird. You are giving me the incentive to work at it harder." Louise
In retrospective, I won't be calling myself "fatty" or 'fat' anymore during my work-out sessions. But, I've yet to come up with an alternative to motivate me. "Come on skinny minny...!!!!" Just doesn't cut-it. I will think about it. However, I do know that Louise is right. Mind over matter! The mind is a powerful tool and visualizing something actually can help manifest. So I will work on seeing myself thinner, and fit.
Nevertheless, I guess I had to much time to think last training session because today my trainer kicked butt and I HAD NO TIME TO BREATHE LET ALONE THINK! Damn...he must be reading my blog!
Tonight was tough, but I know nothing will come of it otherwise. He is only trying to help! Right?! But, I survived; barely. When I'm at the gym, I feel so old and out of shape. Seriously, I look at those young girls casually working out in their tight work-out clothes, and I think...ummm....that could be me?! I suck it up. I must. This is the road I chose, one step at a time one training session at a time. I do think that I will try to add one yoga class in there. Yoga is great for the mind/body/soul connection. Plus, it's great for toning your muscles, relieving stress and compliments my training sessions well. Just where to find the time?
Earlier I went to get my haircut and my stylist noticed something different about me; "ummm...something is changed, your energy, your face, a good change, ummm...did you lose some weight?" BINGO! It's starting to show! I do feel differently. I feel so good! The pain, the frustration, it's worth it!
I've worked really hard in the last few weeks, so I feel that I will reward myself with a pedicure/manicure. I'm looking forward to it...it's been a good four weeks of training!
(apparently I shouldn't be calling myself: fatty or fat)
"Since I started reading The Secret and a message from Kryon, I realized that my own thinking and visualizing me as fat, as made me worst. So now, I try to think, feel and see myself and what it would be like to be the shape I want and deserve. It's not easy to keep that picture and thoughts with what I'm going through, but I noticed that my body is starting to shape up. Plus, I'm talking to my cells. Apparently, as per Kryon, if you take charge and tell them what you want they will start to listen and follow directions. We gave them free rains all our lives. It will take time to get the control back but when I talk to them, as a whole, I can see them stop and listen, some try to sneak out and ignore me but I can also see it and tell them to pay attention. It's so funny and weird. You are giving me the incentive to work at it harder." Louise
In retrospective, I won't be calling myself "fatty" or 'fat' anymore during my work-out sessions. But, I've yet to come up with an alternative to motivate me. "Come on skinny minny...!!!!" Just doesn't cut-it. I will think about it. However, I do know that Louise is right. Mind over matter! The mind is a powerful tool and visualizing something actually can help manifest. So I will work on seeing myself thinner, and fit.
Nevertheless, I guess I had to much time to think last training session because today my trainer kicked butt and I HAD NO TIME TO BREATHE LET ALONE THINK! Damn...he must be reading my blog!
Tonight was tough, but I know nothing will come of it otherwise. He is only trying to help! Right?! But, I survived; barely. When I'm at the gym, I feel so old and out of shape. Seriously, I look at those young girls casually working out in their tight work-out clothes, and I think...ummm....that could be me?! I suck it up. I must. This is the road I chose, one step at a time one training session at a time. I do think that I will try to add one yoga class in there. Yoga is great for the mind/body/soul connection. Plus, it's great for toning your muscles, relieving stress and compliments my training sessions well. Just where to find the time?
Earlier I went to get my haircut and my stylist noticed something different about me; "ummm...something is changed, your energy, your face, a good change, ummm...did you lose some weight?" BINGO! It's starting to show! I do feel differently. I feel so good! The pain, the frustration, it's worth it!
I've worked really hard in the last few weeks, so I feel that I will reward myself with a pedicure/manicure. I'm looking forward to it...it's been a good four weeks of training!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Training
Yesterday, I went to work-out with my trainer. Seems he's turned up the heat a notch!Very tough! I'm so out of shape! So he takes us to the 'exercise room'. The thought of the room sends shivers down my spine.First we climb up the step 10 times on one side, 10 times on another. Seems easy, but my heart already is racing after the first side.Then, it's side to side 10 times. Right after; Rockclimbers!!!! "Let's get that heart rate up!" he says. (Damn does he know what I had to do before I even got here? Run around get the two year old organized for nap, tidy up from lunch, make three beds, then hubby decides to make a pasta sauce, run around ten minutes before I'm set to leave for the gym getting him all his ingredients and tools. Pick-up my six year old from the bus. Run in trying to pay attention as he recounts his day at school. Dig to find my gym clothes, grab my bag and attempt to run out the door. Only to hear: MOM....do you know... but I'm here...barely on time...sweating and heart pounding already!!!!)Okay...so Rockclimbers it is!This exercise that has you doing low lunges hanging on to the step! Twenty of those without missing a beat! When I'm done, my heart is beating out of my chest, I can't breathe and I'm soaking wet from sweating. I'm trying to catch my breath, focus and see straight. I hear: "Start over! Step up! Go!" (I'm thinking effen! I'm going to die here and you want me to do another set?) But I do it...because I have to! "I'm fat!" I think to myself! "come on fatty, show him you can do it" " I hate being fat!" as I feel all my fat jiggling as I struggle, I push forward one step, two; I try to breath in, breathe out. My face is flushed. Just when I think I'm going to pass out... I'm done! I take a drink of water and I want to crash! Now my heart is really going to pop out of my chest! It hurts!!!My trainer looks at me and says "are you alright?" I look at him, I can't speak....but my body language says "do I effen look alright to you?!" hahaha!!!I guess I do because we are now running side to side around the room. EFF!!! I am so out of shape. I want to kill at this point! Why did I come here? I see my reflection in the mirror and I want to burst out crying! This fat thing running around the room, is not ME!So another set it is...up down. Apparently it's the last one, and I can do it, stay strong, push push push...his voice is distant and I don't want to even hear him! Finally, I'm done! I'm so proud of myself. I have many many thoughts. I want to get in shape. I want to be fit. Suddenly I hear a voice from deep within;"getting in shape takes time, athletes do this EVERYDAY. They don't just wake up fit and 'in shape'. It takes hard work, dedication and perseverance. One day at a time, one day, one step. In a few weeks, this will be easy for you. You have to build up momentum, you cannot baby your body. Work, push and stay strong. It will pay off!"So I move forward to the weight training session, a breeze compared to that damn room! Afterwards, I gathered strength to do 30 minutes of cardio. I then treated myself to a tanning session. I left the gym today...feeling good about myself. I'm taking charge...and I can do it. Until Friday that is; and we open the door to that damn room!!!!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Another Day
June 17, 2008.
OKAY, so I stepped on the scale and NADA...not one pound!
I worked out 4 times last week PLUS took several long walks with the kids.
Frustrating! But, upon reflection...I know that I didn't drink all my water daily; so that is the culprit!
This week my goal is to drink all my water; 8 glasses a day + and see what happens.
On the plus side, we went for a nice dinner last night. I decided to treat myself as I forwent treat day last week to try and lose more (ya, another frustrating thing). So I had my pasta, and my dessert. I realized that I can only eat so much and I can fully recognize that full feeling and I want to stop! Treating myself is important for me, and I will make sure to keep it up once a week ;). The next day...I focused!
It's hard to stay fit, with a home and three kids. But, I have realized that I feel better, and I have more energy. I also seem to have more patience with the kids. So, I can imagine when I am 10 lbs, 20lbs, 40lbs lighter!!!
This works; but WATER is crucial to the formula: EXERCISE/FOOD MODERATION/WATER!!!!
If one is missing than it's difficult to lose weight.!
I best be going and go drink another glass of water!
CHEERS!
OKAY, so I stepped on the scale and NADA...not one pound!
I worked out 4 times last week PLUS took several long walks with the kids.
Frustrating! But, upon reflection...I know that I didn't drink all my water daily; so that is the culprit!
This week my goal is to drink all my water; 8 glasses a day + and see what happens.
On the plus side, we went for a nice dinner last night. I decided to treat myself as I forwent treat day last week to try and lose more (ya, another frustrating thing). So I had my pasta, and my dessert. I realized that I can only eat so much and I can fully recognize that full feeling and I want to stop! Treating myself is important for me, and I will make sure to keep it up once a week ;). The next day...I focused!
It's hard to stay fit, with a home and three kids. But, I have realized that I feel better, and I have more energy. I also seem to have more patience with the kids. So, I can imagine when I am 10 lbs, 20lbs, 40lbs lighter!!!
This works; but WATER is crucial to the formula: EXERCISE/FOOD MODERATION/WATER!!!!
If one is missing than it's difficult to lose weight.!
I best be going and go drink another glass of water!
CHEERS!
Monday, June 9, 2008
The Launch!
June 9, 2008
Well, I'm launching my blog!
Yeah...!
I'm so excited to journey my weight loss and daily rituals this way.
I'm inspired to inspire others.
I dream of being a positive role model.
So first things first...
Oprah had a weight loss show last week. I was inspired once again.
But, I felt a little sad. I kept thinking...wow..I could be on that show.
Unfortunately, life threw me a curve ball and I had a set back with my weight.
Bob Green said something that hit a HUGE nerve with me: "you got own it and own up to it".
He's so right! I'm first of all a facebook fraud. I REFUSE to post any photos of myself. They are all 'old' photos of me 3-4 years ago when I was 'thinner'.
So bad is that, that some people have not recognized me face to face. I usually have laughed it off and said; 'hey I've changed from my facebook photo eh?!" But, inside I'm soo humiliated.
So first order on the agenda is to post photos of myself here.
This is going to be it for me, this time I'm going to lose the weight and learn proper weight management. I've learned an important lesson in all of this; there is NO secret formula to losing weight. It's so simple; portion control, healthy foods, water and exercise. That's it!
So tonight I have a training session. First time I'm bringing the kids to the daycare at the gym...I'm a little stressed, but I hope it works out.
Okay...better go get myself a glass of water and get organized!
Hugs!
xox
K
Well, I'm launching my blog!
Yeah...!
I'm so excited to journey my weight loss and daily rituals this way.
I'm inspired to inspire others.
I dream of being a positive role model.
So first things first...
Oprah had a weight loss show last week. I was inspired once again.
But, I felt a little sad. I kept thinking...wow..I could be on that show.
Unfortunately, life threw me a curve ball and I had a set back with my weight.
Bob Green said something that hit a HUGE nerve with me: "you got own it and own up to it".
He's so right! I'm first of all a facebook fraud. I REFUSE to post any photos of myself. They are all 'old' photos of me 3-4 years ago when I was 'thinner'.
So bad is that, that some people have not recognized me face to face. I usually have laughed it off and said; 'hey I've changed from my facebook photo eh?!" But, inside I'm soo humiliated.
So first order on the agenda is to post photos of myself here.
This is going to be it for me, this time I'm going to lose the weight and learn proper weight management. I've learned an important lesson in all of this; there is NO secret formula to losing weight. It's so simple; portion control, healthy foods, water and exercise. That's it!
So tonight I have a training session. First time I'm bringing the kids to the daycare at the gym...I'm a little stressed, but I hope it works out.
Okay...better go get myself a glass of water and get organized!
Hugs!
xox
K
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