BLAHHHHHH!!!!!
I finally caved, gave my rings to my hubby and had him bring them to the jewelers to have them re-sized. I had been hinting for so long, but deep down I didn't want them sized up. However, after nearly five years of being seen as a 'single Mom', it was time for my beautiful rings to be put back on. So Tony mentioned it again and offered to bring them in...and I handed him the platinum.
I'll be very honest, because that is what my blog is intended for: raw truth. After he left, I laid on my bed and cried. It was one of my long time goals; to have my rings fit me again. But, let's be honest...after five years, my diamonds are made to be worn, and not stored in a safe. It is what it is...and chocolate is my ENEMY!
Nonetheless, don't be fooled...I'm back to smiling (on the outside anyhow!).
The Universe never let's me down for too long though...lol (A Surprise Diamond upgrade would make me feel WAY better...!)
Nevertheless, I attended an open house at my son's school yesterday, a woman from my son's class came up to me randomly and thanked me for this blog. Cheers to you..."P's Mom". She said to me: "a woman I know well, recommended your blog to me to read about your struggle ( that's for sure!) with weight loss and how inspiring you are...I recognized it as being you when I read about Carmelo (the one and only!)...your blog is a wonderful read and such an inspiration (really?!)".
Yes, I do write to de-stress myself. Writing is extremely therapeutic for me. In addition, my wish is to inspire others because we all struggle with our body image, our family responsibilities, our marriages, our journeys, and with life in general. I love to share, learn and hearten. In return, I am the one that is inspired. Thank you!
So what have I been doing as of late? RUNNING!!! Fat girl runs! ha ha ha ( I know, not supposed to say that...!) I ran 3.5 km the other day on my treadmill and it felt AMAZING! I love running (am I trying to run from something?!). Then my sister came for a random visit...and my work-outs stopped and eating began. Gosh, I am so an emotional eater. HOWEVER, I was more controlled.
I am more in control of my eating because I am reading a FANTASTIC book. I have recommend it before, now I HIGHLY recommend it.
"Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth
I am reading it slowly, and doing some internal cleansing. I have to say, that it's like peeling an onion layer by layer. Years, and years of emotional baggage and stuff. The AHA moments are striking faster than I can read the words. More importantly, I have changed the way I view food, and the way I eat. It's very difficult to explain in words. But, I do know that I feel so FREE. I am so liberated, and by that I do not mean that I am gorging myself with food with a 'who cares attitude'. Not at all, it's like a huge grey cloud that has been hanging over me since I was 10 and realized I was chubby (thanks to my grandmother!) The grey cloud titled "DIET" is gone. When I eat, I have no guilt, and don't struggle. I ended a war with food, and all that is associated with it. Surprisingly, I am making great choices, drinking water and treating my body well. I appreciate my body more, and look at myself in a whole new light (aside from the rings incident...lol). It's like these chains that have been choking me for so many years are gone. I can breathe. I cannot emphasize enough about this book. There is something to it...and it's not a religious book at all. Nonetheless, run out and buy it!
You know there is something to be said for letting go. It is such a liberating feeling. Amazing things happen when you let go. I have found a new strength within me (along with a challenge/competition and a Starbucks win...with my friend C (who's a HUGE inspiration)! Part of that was also handing my rings over to be fitted. I am more than diamond rings that I wore when I lost 100 lbs, had to take them off when I gained it back and hoping to lose it again to re-wear them. So I let that go too (with a few tears...)
I hope you will treat yourself to the book, and experience the same enlightening growth that I am experiencing.
Be well (and go get the book!),
2 comments:
Glad you are going to be wearing your rings soon.
I requested the book from the library. I am number 52 in line and they have 11 copies. Can't wait to check it out. Thanks for the recommendation.
Welcome back!
You were missed. I so enjoy reading your blog also, and think you are an inspiration.
Sorry, to hear about your rings, but I think you made the best decision.
I purchased the book too.
Bisou, Bisou :)
Post a Comment