"I always knew I was destined for greatness."

- Oprah Winfrey

I remember when I was a young girl, my brother went through a nasty divorce. It was an extremely difficult time for my family. The fighting, hostility and negative controversy that surrounded this entire situation, still affects my family to this day. The negative impact of lies can last generations.

Nevertheless, I recall a specific occasion where I became a potential victim in the web of venom. I was maybe 13 years old. On my own in the grocery isle, I walked passed my brother's former mother-in-law. Knowing almost everything she had said and done to degrade my parents, brother and siblings...I simply pretended she was not there, after all her mere presence beseeched her. Not missing a beat, and my presence obviously too juicy to pass-up, she felt the up most need to strike. She glared down at me and snickered under her breath; " Ugh...! I feel bad for you...you're a "Leacock" and you'll never amount to anything, like the rest of your family. A bunch of no good for nothing, french... LOSERS!"

I didn't even give her the satisfaction of her knowing that I had heard her. For her evil words fell on deaf ears, and my heart told me that...I was destined for greatness!

My Baby Rides a Bike

A Great Saturday Run With My Boys

Running. I love running...

The last little while with Carmelo in competitive soccer, and Diodato and myself wanting to be fit, I've been meaning to take my boys running. Real running on a real track.

We tried doing the running on the street with Carmelo. However, being close to home...never seemed to pan out, Carmelo would soon be back on our step with a 'no freakin' way I'm doing this." Trust me, he's no piece of cake when it comes to fitness.

A few times, the kids in our neighbourhood have attempted to work with Carmy. Hamooda had the great idea to build Carmy's leg muscles...jump ups on our steps. "I have no clue what this has to do with soccer, so...no thanks!" Fine, twenty sit-ups would be the punishment. Hill side up. "I'm only doing 2...I did not sign up for this." ARGH!!!! The only kid who remotely got close to training him was Massimo, and soon afterwards Carmelo sweaty, was at the patio door with a look of an imprisoned, abused child on his face. Let's not get into RUNNING. "What does soccer have ANYTHING to do with running? eh?! Tell me...that one!" We tell him everything, but he's a stubborn as they come. The only successful trainer he's had is Mark Hatfield of Hatfield's, and my hat goes out to him!

So, the other day I had an "AHA" moment. "Boys, how about we go to the track, do a run then I will take you to "Booster Juice". It was a great idea. But, would it work? Would I have a whiny four year old, and a crusty Carmelo? I had to chance it. I had to walk (or in this case) run the talk. We all geared up with running shoes, water bottles and i-touches.

It was a clear, cool sunny day. The weather was perfect for a run around the track. No excuses. The first run around the track, I thought for sure, I was going to die right there. I have to say, running on the real thing as opposed to a treadmill is way harder. When I finally reached the the starting point again, my lungs felt like they were bleeding. Seriously! I thought for sure, if I spit...there would be blood. Every breath hurt like my lungs were being stabbed over and over! However, Diodato (my 14 year old) ran by, and continued on. "umm, I thought...this was my idea, and here I am panting like a hot cow in July!". So, I pumped up my i-pod, and sprinted on.

There is something mysteriously motivating and enlivening about running on a track. I cannot explain fully into words the energy that one spans from the track. Whether it be the energy of the moment, or the aura of the runners past who have ran this very track too. With every new breathe, with every step forward and push forth of my arms, my body got into a running groove. Soon, my lungs settled down, and my legs worked hard on the track underneath it. The wind blew a gentle breeze amongst the trees around us. Even the clouds above seemed in sync with our run. It felt wonderful to be training outdoors. I let go, and felt free as I jogged on. Even Carmelo ran and loved it! Now that is a huge milestone.

During our run, Tony (my hubby) came by and watched us. The kids treasured it. I realized that this was the most fun (believe it or not) that my family and I had had in a long time. It was just us, no stress, no mess, the track and a familial achievement. We all did approximately 3k together. We all jogged at our own paces. Even my four year old Antonio ran with us. At one point he held my hand as we jogged around the track together, it was priceless. Nevertheless, there is never a dull moment in my household, and today was no exception. While running Carmelo turned to me: "Mom, when we are done burning fat, how about we go to Dairy Queen and celebrate!" That child!!! After their run, the boys and Tony then played a soccer scrimmage, while I did a few more sprint/walks around the track. It was wonderful.

It really is exhilarating to get moving as a family. I felt motivated by Diodato, inspired by Carmelo and joyful by Antonio. I felt loved by Tony who watched us run around the track with awe and pride.

I hope time will allow us to continue this running journey we have embarked on. Our goal as a family (Diodato, Carmelo and I) is to be able to easily run 5k, so that we can run the CIBC Run for the Cure, Breast Cancer Run in October in honour of my two mother-in-law's who have passed from the disease.

Be well and run on,

Still Around

Hey everyone!

I'm still around. Sorry, I have seemed to abandoned you. I'll be back with a longer post in the future. For the time being, I thought I'd pop in, and keep you all posted on my whereabouts.

I think I may have piled to much on my plate! I'm really having to balance alot these days. Much more than I bargained for. I can however say that I am officially a "Soccer Mom". I absolutely love it, and to those of you who have to endure my screams during my boys' games...my apologies, but I love cheering the boys on! "Mom...gees...you are embarrassing the crap out of me...keep it down!" -Carmy

Five days a week of soccer! Along with violin, and guitar lessons. I'm busy. To add more to it, I decided to continue my studies, and took another course towards my HRM (Human Resource Management) certification. BAD BAD mistake! Honestly, I'm overwhelmed.

Nevertheless, I'm keeping up with my healthy lifestyle, aside from a flu bug that has hit my household this week. I've been running on the treadmill, and even ran at the gym. Now for anyone who has never been overweight: that is a huge HUGE milestone. I even felt good running, I don't know how I looked to the other patrons...but I worked it! LOL

I really find that book "Woman, Food and God" has REALLY helped me in the eating department. It's so strange, but for the first time in my life...there is a different aura to food and eating for me. It's slowly paying off on the scale with a four pound deficit. Nonetheless, the strange part is; I don't care. It's just a number...but in a good way, not in the way where I would be in denial about my weight. More in the sense, that I am more than just a number. Release and let go...it does make sense and is so liberating.

Moreover, I'll tell you were my copy of the book went. I was sitting in the park reading while Carmelo was at violin and Antonio played in the park (the only time I get to read, or do schooling is either violin, guitar or soccer practice). Anyhow, I was at the park finishing the very last chapter of the book. I had tens of pages folded down with quotes I wanted to keep and re-read. A chubby woman walked by and noticed the book I was reading: "...oh, I saw that book on Oprah, I've been meaning to go buy it...is it worth it?" EVERY PENNY!!!

The woman was clearly overwhelmed with her five children under the age of 10. She looked worn, and stretched to her limits. I saw a reflection of the old me in her, and I wanted to give her a ray of hope. So, I immediately finished as fast as I could the chapter. As we left the park, I walked up to her and handed the book. "Enjoy, this book has helped me...you'll love it!" The woman got teary, and all she could say was 'thank you...wow...you are so kind, I've been wanting the book, but couldn't go purchase it."

Be well, and remember to pay it forward!

I love this book!

Here is an excerpt of the book I highly recommend. This week, hopefully I will have more time to blog about my 'AHA' moments and breakthrough's.
Until then, I wish you wellness!

http://www.oprah.com/health/An-Excerpt-from-Geneen-Roths-Women-Food-And-God

Wisdom from Jillian Michaels

Hey Everyone!

Start the weekend off right, with some wisdom from the great Jillian Michaels.

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/real-life/inner-you/rodale-article.aspx?cp-documentid=24218952

I Caved!!

BLAHHHHHH!!!!!



I finally caved, gave my rings to my hubby and had him bring them to the jewelers to have them re-sized. I had been hinting for so long, but deep down I didn't want them sized up. However, after nearly five years of being seen as a 'single Mom', it was time for my beautiful rings to be put back on. So Tony mentioned it again and offered to bring them in...and I handed him the platinum.


I'll be very honest, because that is what my blog is intended for: raw truth. After he left, I laid on my bed and cried. It was one of my long time goals; to have my rings fit me again. But, let's be honest...after five years, my diamonds are made to be worn, and not stored in a safe. It is what it is...and chocolate is my ENEMY!


Nonetheless, don't be fooled...I'm back to smiling (on the outside anyhow!).


The Universe never let's me down for too long though...lol (A Surprise Diamond upgrade would make me feel WAY better...!)

Nevertheless, I attended an open house at my son's school yesterday, a woman from my son's class came up to me randomly and thanked me for this blog. Cheers to you..."P's Mom". She said to me: "a woman I know well, recommended your blog to me to read about your struggle ( that's for sure!) with weight loss and how inspiring you are...I recognized it as being you when I read about Carmelo (the one and only!)...your blog is a wonderful read and such an inspiration (really?!)".

Yes, I do write to de-stress myself. Writing is extremely therapeutic for me. In addition, my wish is to inspire others because we all struggle with our body image, our family responsibilities, our marriages, our journeys, and with life in general. I love to share, learn and hearten. In return, I am the one that is inspired. Thank you!

So what have I been doing as of late? RUNNING!!! Fat girl runs! ha ha ha ( I know, not supposed to say that...!) I ran 3.5 km the other day on my treadmill and it felt AMAZING! I love running (am I trying to run from something?!). Then my sister came for a random visit...and my work-outs stopped and eating began. Gosh, I am so an emotional eater. HOWEVER, I was more controlled.


I am more in control of my eating because I am reading a FANTASTIC book. I have recommend it before, now I HIGHLY recommend it.

"Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth

I am reading it slowly, and doing some internal cleansing. I have to say, that it's like peeling an onion layer by layer. Years, and years of emotional baggage and stuff. The AHA moments are striking faster than I can read the words. More importantly, I have changed the way I view food, and the way I eat. It's very difficult to explain in words. But, I do know that I feel so FREE. I am so liberated, and by that I do not mean that I am gorging myself with food with a 'who cares attitude'. Not at all, it's like a huge grey cloud that has been hanging over me since I was 10 and realized I was chubby (thanks to my grandmother!) The grey cloud titled "DIET" is gone. When I eat, I have no guilt, and don't struggle. I ended a war with food, and all that is associated with it. Surprisingly, I am making great choices, drinking water and treating my body well. I appreciate my body more, and look at myself in a whole new light (aside from the rings incident...lol). It's like these chains that have been choking me for so many years are gone. I can breathe. I cannot emphasize enough about this book. There is something to it...and it's not a religious book at all. Nonetheless, run out and buy it!


You know there is something to be said for letting go. It is such a liberating feeling. Amazing things happen when you let go. I have found a new strength within me (along with a challenge/competition and a Starbucks win...with my friend C (who's a HUGE inspiration)! Part of that was also handing my rings over to be fitted. I am more than diamond rings that I wore when I lost 100 lbs, had to take them off when I gained it back and hoping to lose it again to re-wear them. So I let that go too (with a few tears...)


I hope you will treat yourself to the book, and experience the same enlightening growth that I am experiencing.



Be well (and go get the book!),